


Garland Moon Madness

by Luxraays



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, M/M, More relationships to be added over time, Multi, Polyamory, chatfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2020-11-08 15:51:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20838101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luxraays/pseuds/Luxraays
Summary: [thotier -> d1ebymybl4de]:if i were dating you...heh. lets just say that horses wouldnt be called “horses” anymore[d1ebymybl4de -> thotier]:what the fuck.Garland Moon, aka the month of rain, white roses, and "no homo bro"s.





	1. Garland Moon

**Author's Note:**

> This is just me trying to fit in as many internet references as I can lol. Rated T for Sylvain.
> 
> Any (similar) usernames in here that are in other people’s chat fics are purely coincidental and unintentional. Apologies in advance if that’s the case! There’s so many chatfics in this fandom it can be hard to keep track. dgjsdvhghfd
> 
> **@profisher // Professor Byleth** \- Byleth
> 
> 💙🦁 **Blue Lions** 💙🦁
> 
> **annette!!!** \- Annette  
**a shoe bert** \- Ashe  
**d1ebymybl4de** \- Felix  
**I’m a healer, but...🔫** \- Mercedes  
**ingwid - Ingrid**  
**its deduesday** \- Dedue  
**MozzarellaMan** \- Dimitri  
**thotier** \- Sylvain
> 
> 🖤🦅 **Black Eagles** 🖤🦅
> 
> **Edie** \- Edelgard  
**findingdorythea** \- Dorothea  
**feelthebern** \- Bernadetta  
**ferdielicous** \- Ferdinand  
**hubbert** \- Hubert  
**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG** \- Caspar  
**princesspetra** \- Petra  
**sleepy bitch disease** \- Linhardt
> 
> 💛🦌 **Golden Deer** 💛🦌
> 
> **beef broganoff** \- Raphael  
**hildahilda** \- Hilda  
**hors** \- Marianne  
**leonardodaBINCHI** \- Ignatz  
**microorganism** \- Lysithea  
**purple nurple** \- Lorenz  
**sexy arrow** \- Claude  
**#1Jeraltfan** \- Leonie

💙🦁 **Blue Lions !!! **💙🦁

**thotier:** ITS THE MONTH OF THE GARLAND MOON!! 🌝🌝😩😩 and you know👈 what that means 😉 its the start of 😩 rainy season 💦💦 and it’s gonna be WET 💦💦 all day long. 🌝😩 💦💘 the time to 🎁 gift 💝 white ⚪️ rose 🌹 garlands 🌸🌼🌹 is coming 💦💦 up s👀n so grab 💋 those sexy 😳🔓 sweetpeas 🌷and stick some 💐 poppin’ pansies 🌻 in that vase 😈 of yours! 😩🌝 send 💌 this and a garland ⚪️🌹🌸 to 2️⃣ of your Blue Lion Bitches 💙🦁 Black Eagle Baes 🖤🦅 and Golden Deer Dreamboats 💛🦌 or your flower stalk 🌻😳 will wilt! 🥀😩

**> d1ebymybl4de removed thotier from the groupchat. <  
**

**[thotier -> d1ebymybl4de]:** felix bro wtf

**[thotier -> d1ebymybl4de]:** felix pls let me back in i promise ill be a good boy from now on 🥺

**[d1ebymybl4de -> thotier]:** suddenly i cant read.

**ingwid: **did you guys hear something…?

**annette!!!:** nope!

**a shoe bert:** no???

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** I didn’t hear anything! ^^

**MozzarellaMan:** Not at all. It’s quite a peaceful morning. How unusual that Sylvain isn’t here to disturb it. :)

**its deduesday:** Indeed, Your Highness. We are very fortunate today.

**its deduesday:** :)

**annette!!!: **omg dedue! u used a smiley face that’s so cute!

**its deduesday:** Thank you Annette. His Highness has suggested that I use emotes to express my feelings through text.

**MozzarellaMan:** You are doing an excellent job, Dedue!

**its deduesday: **Thank you Your Highness. :)

**MozzarellaMan:** :)

**its deduesday:** :)  


**MozzarellaMan:** :)

**d1ebymybl4de:** get a room.

**ingwid:** felix! be nice

**a shoe bert:** yeah dedues just trying his best there’s no need to be so rude!

**d1ebymybl4de:** tch. he shouldn’t bother trying at all.

**annette!!!: **Felix.

**d1ebymybl4de:** ...

**d1ebymybl4de:** im sorry annette, please forgive me.

**ingwid:** ...wow. howd you get him to apologize so quickly?

**annette!!!: ** im not really sure but it works every time! ^ v ^

**annette!!!: ** and felix, it’s not me you should be apologizing to >:C

**d1ebymybl4de:** … :/

**MozzarellaMan:** It’s alright everyone. We all know how prickly Felix can be at times so please don’t take his comments to heart. Ingrid and I have known him long enough to know that he truly doesn’t mean any harm. Dedue is privy to this as well.

**ingwid:** true, but that doesn’t mean felix should be snapping at everyone. seriously felix, even to your own house members?

**d1ebymybl4de:** i dont snap at everyone.

**a shoe bert:** you dont with annette apparently :0 

**ingwid:** annette doesn’t count. no one is allowed to be mean to her. ever. or to mercedes either! it’s physically impossible

**MozzarellaMan:** That is true!

**annette!!!:** aww you guys! <3 

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** That’s so sweet of you guys to say! I should bake some treats to show how much I appreciate you all! :)

**annette!!!:** oooh i’ll help you mercie!

**its deduesday:** I would like to help as well.

**d1ebymybl4de:** hmph.

**a shoe bert:** you don’t have to do that for us mercedes, we already know how much you appreciate us, and we appreciate you too! :D

**ingwid:** yeah! speaking of appreciation though, isn’t it garland moon?

**MozzarellaMan:** Yes. Sylvain mentioned it earlier in his colorful text before Felix banned him. It hurt my eyes to look at it.

**annette!!!:** oh yeah! remember when he had a signature that was at the bottom of all of his posts? it made the chat so hard to read!

**a shoe bert:** let me see if i can find it again

**a shoe bert:** here it is!

**a shoe bert:** “ you so fuckin precious when you 💖😘💖💗💫🌟 ⭐️ 💖 💗 smile 😍 💖 💫 💖💗😍⭐️💖💗hit it from the back and drive you 💖😘💖💗💫🌟 ⭐️ 💖 💗 wild 😍 💖 💫 💖💗😍⭐️💖💗 girl I lose myself up in those 💖😘💖💗💫🌟💖💗💗😘 ⭐️ 💖 💗 eyeeyeeyeeyeeyes 😍 💖 💫 💖💗😍⭐️💖💗😘💗💖⭐️ ”

**annette!!!:** Ahhh! It burns!!!

**d1ebymybl4de:** why did you make me look at this again with my own two eyes.

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** I think it matches with how vibrant Sylvain can be! But...I do agree that it is a bit much to read.

**a shoe bert:** should we really be poking fun at him when he cant even be here to defend himself?

**d1ebymybl4de:** dont worry its fine.  


**ingwid:** guys!! the garland moon!

**MozzarellaMan:** Apologies, Ingrid. We got carried away with making fun of Sylvain’s atrocious use of emojis. Please continue.

**ingwid:** thanks dimitri

** ingwid:** are any of you guys participating? we could all hang out and weave roses together and then give them to each other!

** annette!!!:** that’s a great idea ingrid! oh, what if we also invited the other houses too? it could be one big get together!

**ingwid:** yes! Your Highness? what do you think?

**MozzarellaMan:** I am all for it! I’ll ask the other house leaders as well and we can make arrangements.

** I’m a healer, but...🔫:** I’ll make snacks! What would everyone like to eat?

**a shoe bert:** sweets please!

**annette!!!:** sweets! 

**d1ebymybl4de:** nothing sweet.

**MozzarellaMan:** Cheese flavored snacks, please.

**ingwid:** out of curiosity Your Highness, what is it with you and cheese? we know it’s your favorite but you always have it with everything you eat

**MozzarellaMan:** I enjoy the texture and the sharp flavor it has. It’s one of the strongest things that I am able to taste.

**MozzarellaMan:** Such a shame that it causes stomach aches, though.

**a shoe bert:** ...stomach aches?

**MozzarellaMan:** Yes. The agonizing pains that you get from eating cheese.

**ingwid:** ...

**ingwid:** does it happen every time you eat cheese? or other dairy products like milk?

**MozzarellaMan:** Come to think of it, it does! Does that not happen with everyone else?

**annette!!!:** it can happen with some people, Your Highness, it’s just that... um...

**its deduesday:** Your Highness, we regret to inform you that you may be lactose intolerant.

**MozzarellaMan: ** …

**ingwid:** …

**annette!!!:** …

**a shoe bert:** …

**MozzarellaMan: ** Ah. I see.

**MozzarellaMan:** That... makes a lot of sense, actually.

**d1ebymybl4de:** wow.

**d1ebymybl4de:** im almost tempted to invite sylvain back in just so he can witness you one upping his stupidity. almost.

**annette!!!:** Felix.

**d1ebymybl4de:** sorry.

**MozzarellaMan:** Well, even if I am lactose intolerant, I will still keep eating and enjoying cheese. It’s too good for me to give up, no matter how much pain it puts me through.

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** Oh you’re lactose intolerant Dimitri? You can get herbs from the infirmary that can help you with managing it! Just remember to take some before you eat cheese or anything with dairy in it and you shouldn’t have stomach aches anymore. :)

**MozzarellaMan:** Thank you for letting me know Mercedes. You have always been so helpful to your fellow Blue Lions. Everyone, should you all make rose garlands this moon, do remember to give one to her.

**annette!!!:** we will!

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** Thank you, Dimitri! 😊💙

**ingwid:** I just cant believe you’ve gone all these years eating cheese thinking it was normal to be in gut wrenching pain afterwards

**d1ebymybl4de:** same. how did you even make it this far without thinking that you shouldve, idk, seen a healer about it? idiot.

**MozzarellaMan:** I simply assumed we were all willing to suffer for our passions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to headcanon Dimitri as being lactose intolerant. It makes his love for cheese 10x stronger
> 
> Also sorry if any formatting came out weird! AO3 keeps messing it up for some reason. Idk how far I'm gonna go with this but I already have the next few chapters with the other houses being revised so... :)


	2. Apple's Bee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvain finds a new temporary home. The Golden Deer and professor Byleth also make an entrance!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **@profisher // Professor Byleth** \- Byleth
> 
> 💙🦁 **Blue Lions** 💙🦁
> 
> **annette!!!** \- Annette  
**a shoe bert** \- Ashe  
**d1ebymybl4de** \- Felix  
**I’m a healer, but...🔫** \- Mercedes  
**ingwid - Ingrid**  
**its deduesday** \- Dedue  
**MozzarellaMan** \- Dimitri  
**thotier** \- Sylvain
> 
> 🖤🦅 **Black Eagles** 🖤🦅
> 
> **Edie** \- Edelgard  
**findingdorythea** \- Dorothea  
**feelthebern** \- Bernadetta  
**ferdielicous** \- Ferdinand  
**hubbert** \- Hubert  
**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG** \- Caspar  
**princesspetra** \- Petra  
**sleepy bitch disease** \- Linhardt
> 
> 💛🦌 **Golden Deer** 💛🦌
> 
> **beef broganoff** \- Raphael  
**hildahilda** \- Hilda  
**hors** \- Marianne  
**leonardodaBINCHI** \- Ignatz  
**microorganism** \- Lysithea  
**purple nurple** \- Lorenz  
**sexy arrow** \- Claude  
**#1Jeraltfan** \- Leonie

**[thotier -> sexy arrow]:** heyyy claude! my buddy! 

**[sexy arrow -> thotier]:** sylvain! my man! my broseph!

**[thotier -> sexy arrow]:** my bromate! my, uhhhh. my bromodo dragon?

**[sexy arrow -> thotier]:** ehhhh... no. lol

**[sexy arrow -> thotier]:** did you need somethin?

**[thotier -> sexy arrow]:** why are you assuming i need something from you? cant a bro just say hi to his fellow bro? 😉

**[sexy arrow -> thotier]:** 😉 you cant fool me that easily sylvain

**[thotier -> sexy arrow]:** damn ok

**[thotier -> sexy arrow]:** felix kicked me out of the blue lions gc and i was wondering if you could let me chill in yours for a bit? at least until i get added back in

**[thotier -> sexy arrow]: ** please... im so lonely and its so cold out here 🥺🥺🥺

**[sexy arrow -> thotier]:** LOL u got kicked out? im not surprised

**[sexy arrow -> thotier]:** why not ask caspar to let u into the black eagles gc? im sure he could use some help entertaining those guys

**[thotier -> sexy arrow]:** hubert.

**[sexy arrow -> thotier]:** fair point

**[thotier -> sexy arrow]:** ur gc is wayyy cooler anyways 😉😉😉 cmon, you wont even notice anything different. ill fit right in!

**[sexy arrow -> thotier]:** hmmm alright, since ur my bro ill let u in but no funny business, k? thats my job. this circus aint big enough for the two of us clowns

**[thotier -> sexy arrow]:** aw yessss thx bro ur the best 🙏🙏

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

💛🦌  **Claude’s Dream Meme Sweet 16 Beach Bash Birthday Party ** 💛🦌

**beef broganoff:** oh hell yeah

**beef broganoff:** say it again

**leonardodaBINCHI:** Apple’s Bee

**hildahilda:** nice one ignatz! marianne its your turn~

**hors:** Apple’s Bee

**hildahilda:** 💖💖💖

**beef broganoff:** hell yeah! leonie your turn

**#1Jeraltfan:** Apple’s Bee

**> sexy arrow added thotier to the groupchat. <**

**sexy arrow:** Apple’s Bee

**thotier:** Apple’s Bee

**purple nurple:** Can you all stop making fun of my typo? It’s not even that funny anymore.

**microorganism:** I’m going to have to agree with Lorenz on this one. You’re all acting quite childish! My notifications are going off like crazy.

**sexy arrow:** absolutely not!

**sexy arrow:** and lysithea, my dear child, u can always just mute your phone u know 

**microorganism:** Don’t call me that. 🔪

**sexy arrow:** noted

**purple nurple:** Who is this new person you added in anyway? 

**thotier:** my names joe :)

**purple nurple:** I am not aware of any students in the Officers Academy by that name. Who are you, Joe?

**hildahilda:** oh no

**#1Jeraltfan:** oh no

**microorganism:** Oh no.

**sexy arrow: ** Top 10 pictures taken right before disaster

**thotier:** JOE MAMA

**purple nurple:** …

**hildahilda:** YOOOOOOOO LMAO

**sexy arrow:** LADIES N GENTLEMEN…..WE GOTTEM

**hildahilda:** this is so sad can we get an F in the chat?

**beef broganoff: ** F

**#1Jeraltfan:** F

**leonardodaBINCHI: ** F

**microorganism:** F

**hors:** f

**purple nurple:** Ugh. Sylvain. I should’ve known.

**thotier:** the one and only, babes 😎

**sexy arrow:** LMAO

**sexy arrow:** oh hey dimitri just msged me brb 

**hildahilda:** oh? 👀

**thotier:** 👀

**sexy arrow:** HGKDHGF STOP its probably smthn abt cheese again chill yall

**sexy arrow:** be back in a jiff!

**thotier:** hey bro can u tell him to add me back into the blue lions chat lol

**thotier:** ahhh shit nvm hes gone

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

🖤💙💛 **House Leaders (and the Professor!) Groupchat** 💛💙🖤

**Dimitri:** @Edelgard @Claude

**Dimitri:** Hello you two, I hope you and your classmates are all doing well.

**Edelgard:** Greetings, Dimitri. The Black Eagles have been remarkably well, thank you.

**Claude:** eyy wus poppin lmao

**Edelgard:** Casual as always, Claude.

**Claude:** 👉😎👉

**Claude:** so whats up u guys?

**Dimitri:** I am glad to hear that you two are fine. 

**Dimitri:** As you all know, it’s the Garland Moon. The Blue Lions are having a get together and would like to extend the invitation to both of your houses. Assuming we get permission from the professor to use one of the larger classrooms, we will host our celebration there to weave garlands and share them with each other. If not, we will make do with the Blue Lions classroom instead.

**Dimitri:** It will take place this weekend. Refreshments will be provided, of course.

**Claude:** oh wow that’s a great idea dimitri! the golden deer love a good feast 😋 we’re super down 

**Edelgard:** I agree. The Black Eagles eagerly accept your invitation, under the condition that we help prepare as well. I’ll let my house know right away.

**Claude:** yeah me and the deer gang can lend a hand too. setup, cooking, getting flowers, you name it!

**Dimitri:** Thank you, we really appreciate the assistance. 

**Edelgard:** Then it’s settled! We should ask the professor for permission now so we can get a head start on prepping. @Profisher

**> Professor Byleth is online. <**

**Claude:** heya teach!

**Dimitri:** Greetings professor! 

**Edelgard:** Hello professor. 

**Dimitri:** All three of us house leaders plan to host a small celebration for the Garland Moon. We’d like to have permission to use one of the bigger classrooms to host the event this weekend. You’re invited too, of course.

**Edelgard:** The houses will take care of the preparations as well as clean up after ourselves. We’ll also make sure to not stay up too late to avoid disturbances among other students who may be studying or resting at those hours.

**Claude:** its gonna be lit af

**Professor Byleth:** k

**Claude:** oh wow that was easy lol

**Claude:** thx teach!

**Dimitri:** Fantastic! Thank you so much Professor.

**Edelgard:** Thank you Professor. I suppose we can delegate the party duties at a later time. I must be off to class now. 

**Dimitri:** Yes, same here. We’ll see each other again promptly.

**Claude:** see u guys!

**Professor Byleth:** If that’s all, I’ll be going as well. Have fun with the party.

**> Edelgard is offline. <**

**> Dimitri is offline. <**

**Claude:** hey teach wait, since you’re still here i might as well ask

**Claude:** just outta curiosity, are u gonna give a garland to anyone besides ur students and Jeralt? someone special?

**Professor Byleth:** Yes.

**Claude:** 👀 i can keep a secret

**Professor Byleth:** I’d rather not share who it is at the moment.

**Claude:** eh i tried

**Professor Byleth:** But I’ll see if I can bring them with me to your party.

**Claude:** 👀👀👀👀👀👀 lookin forward to seein u and ur plus one there teach!

**Claude:** one more thing, do u also happen to know what’s serving at the dining hall today?

**Professor Byleth:** 🍆🧀

**Claude:** DICK CHEESE??????

**Professor Byleth:** No. 

**Professor Byleth:** Eggplant parmesan. 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

💛🦌  **Claude’s Dream Meme Sweet 16 Beach Bash Birthday Party ** 💛🦌

**thotier:** You approach the cheese stall where the owner is using a comically large battle axe to delicately cut thin, tiny slices of cheese. He is a strapping, shirtless ogre wearing an apron. 

**thotier:** “Hello! Would you like a free sample?”

**hildahilda:** ya sure! but can i get some of that cheese on that shelf in the back tho?

**thotier:** “Certainly!” The ogre says. And when he turns around, you realize that behind that apron, he’s wearing nothing but a tight thong.

**sexy arrow:** uhhhh hello???? what did i just come back to? lmao

**leonardodaBINCHI:** Hi Claude! Hilda and Sylvain are doing a mini impromptu DnD campaign/RP. 

**hors:** sylvain is DMing.,,

**purple nurple:** As raunchy and wildly inappropriate as this story is, it’s regrettably very well written. He’s a decent DM.

**thotier:** woah... a compliment from mr lorenz himself? ill treasure it forever and keep it safe in my trash can 

**purple nurple:** :/

**thotier:** :)

**microorganism: ** Yeah he may be a good DM, but it’s a shame that’s not the case when he DMs a girl.

**thotier:** WH

**hildahilda: ** OH SNAPPPPP

**purple nurple: ** Lysithea, you are a gift.

**microorganism: ** Thank you Lorenz!

**hildahilda:** good luck with getting a girl to even LOOK at you after that sick burn sylvain GDJSFSHDD

**thotier: ** ikr holy fuck i got owned by a baby

**microorganism:** I am not a baby! 

**microorganism:** I’ll knock your lights out Sylvain...I’m not even worried about it.

**thotier: ** assuming u can even reach past my knees lol

**microorganism:** You’ve stooped low enough for me to reach.

**hildahilda:** DAMMMNNNNN

**sexy arrow: ** LYSITHEA U LEGEND GSFSJSGDKDGDGS

**sexy arrow:** anyways! lemme get in on this dnd thing!

**hildahilda:** claude! 😘 join us, we’re about to get some cheese from this hot ogre lol

**sexy arrow:** hey hilda! 💘

**sexy arrow:** aight let see…...so the ogre’s wearing nothing but a thong huh

**thotier:** yup lol

**sexy arrow:** how much cake does he have?

**thotier:** hang on lemme roll a dice

**thotier:** …

**hildahilda:** …?

**sexy arrow:** ??? well?

**thotier:** ummm

**sexy arrow:** cmon man the suspense is killing me here!

**thotier:** ……………

**thotier:** 3\. He’s flat and malnourished 😞

**sexy arrow:** MALNOURISHED GDHSKDDGKSV???

**hildahilda:** aw whattttt 

**hildahilda:** nvm i dont think i wanna play anymore LOL

**thotier:** wowww thats cold hilda

**hildahilda:** i have standards!

**sexy arrow:** she has standards

**purple nurple:** And what, pray tell, are your standards, exactly?

**hildahilda:** girls 😍

**sexy arrow:** marianne*

**hildahilda:** CLAUDE SHUHSHHHSHHHH!!!

**sexy arrow:** LMAO

**sexy arrow:** speaking of *~*~love~*~*, the blue lions invited us and the black eagles to a garland making party this weekend and we’re helping set up!

**hildahilda:** NICE

**thotier:** NICE

**#1Jeraltfan:** NICE

**hors:** !! oh!!

**leonardodaBINCHI:** That sounds fun!

**purple nurple:** Indeed, I’m looking forward to conversing with the other houses.

**microorganism:** Ooh! I hope there’s cake!

**beef broganoff:** i call dibs on helping out with the food!

**sexy arrow:** yeppppp it’s gonna be epic! 

**thotier:** btw claude did u ask dimitri to let me back into my groupchat?

**sexy arrow:** ah shoot i didnt see ur msg sorry bro. why dont u just ask one of ur house members for an invite?

**thotier:** only felix and dimitri can let me back in but felix has been leaving me on read and dimitris busy

**sexy arrow:** oh rip

**hildahilda:** id ask why felix has invite permissions but honestly considering how u and him are, it makes sense 

**thotier:** whats that supposed to mean hilda

**hildahilda:** oh you know 😏

**thotier:** i...i really dont?

**thotier:** hilda???? HILDA????

**thotier:** ...

**thotier:** so does anyone wanna continue the dnd campaign or 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Black Eagles are next :)


	3. Beagle Bot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ferdinand says a bad word, Hubert deals with everyone's antics, and Petra learns about the holiday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **@profisher // Professor Byleth** \- Byleth
> 
> 💙🦁 **Blue Lions** 💙🦁
> 
> **annette!!!** \- Annette  
**a shoe bert** \- Ashe  
**d1ebymybl4de** \- Felix  
**I’m a healer, but...🔫** \- Mercedes  
**ingwid - Ingrid**  
**its deduesday** \- Dedue  
**MozzarellaMan** \- Dimitri  
**thotier** \- Sylvain
> 
> 🖤🦅 **Black Eagles** 🖤🦅
> 
> **Edie** \- Edelgard  
**findingdorythea** \- Dorothea  
**feelthebern** \- Bernadetta  
**ferdielicous** \- Ferdinand  
**hubbert** \- Hubert  
**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG** \- Caspar  
**princesspetra** \- Petra  
**sleepy bitch disease** \- Linhardt
> 
> 💛🦌 **Golden Deer** 💛🦌
> 
> **beef broganoff** \- Raphael  
**hildahilda** \- Hilda  
**hors** \- Marianne  
**leonardodaBINCHI** \- Ignatz  
**microorganism** \- Lysithea  
**purple nurple** \- Lorenz  
**sexy arrow** \- Claude  
**#1Jeraltfan** \- Leonie

🖤🦅 ** Black Eagles Groupchat ** 🖤🦅

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** TELEPORTS BEHIND U!!!

**sleepy bitch disease: ** what

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** heh...nothing personnel kiddo

**sleepy bitch disease:** oh nice lol

**ferdielicious:** your hubert impression is spot on, caspar

**findingdorythea:** ASDFGHJKL OMG

**princesspetra:** I am having difficulty understanding how that relates to Hubert?

**findingdorythea:** oh! well you know how hubert does that creepy thing where he suddenly pops up from behind you? it’s like he teleported

**princesspetra:** Oh! I understand now. Thank you Dorothea!

**findingdorythea:** ofc petra darling! 💕💕

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** oh hey how come hubert doesnt have a nickname? he’s the only one who doesnt

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** even edelgards got one and shes the dang house leader ffs

**ferdielicious:** because hubert is hubert

**ferdielicious:** and even if he somehow agrees to having one, what would be a fitting nickname for him anyway?

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG: ** what about the uhhh

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG: ** whats it called. the telescope thing? 

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG: ** the hubbert space telescope? 

**sleepy bitch disease: ** hubble, caspar. it’s the hubble space telescope 

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG: ** eh close enough

**findingdorythea:** AGDGJSSGRWYSFS HUBBERT SPACE TELESCOPE

**princesspetra:** LOL!

**> Hubert is online. <**

**Hubert:** What’s going on here.

**Hubert:** All of you are supposed to be paying attention in class right now. Texting in the groupchat at this time will distract your classmates and have detrimental consequences.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG: ** nah todays just review i already know everything!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG: ** youre no fun hubbert

**findingdorythea:** yeah hubbert!

**Hubert:** “Hubbert”?

  
  
**ferdielicious:** yes, we’ve all decided that you’re hubbert now

**Hubert:** You’re all being ridiculous.

**Hubert:** The in class review is crucial because we have an exam tomorrow.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG: ** OH SHIT do we really??? 

  
  
**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** @sleepy bitch disease @sleepy bitch disease @sleepy bitch disease LINNY PLS HELP ME STUDY IDK ANYTHING

**princesspetra:** I thought you said you knew everything already, Caspar?

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG: ** I LIED

**sleepy bitch disease: ** huh whyd i get pinged so much

**sleepy bitch disease: ** oh ok sure just wake me up after class

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** OH hell yeah thanks linny!

**Hubert:** Hm. Seeing as you all refuse to take your academic careers seriously for the future of the empire, I’ll reimplement the chatroom bot to ensure there is no more fooling around during school hours. 

**ferdielicious:** ugh no not the chatroom bot! that thing is awful 

**ferdielicious:** its like a second hubert

**princesspetra:** I was not aware that we had a chatroom bot!

**findingdorythea:** we did apparently! hubert just puts these things in quietly and never tells us 

**Hubert:** There’s no major change in the groupchat’s activities as a result of the bot being here, that is, as long as you follow the guidelines and behave accordingly. Therefore I’ve never had reason to inform you all of it.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** do we still get kicked out for saying the s word?

**princesspetra:** What is the s word?

**ferdielicious:** Seiros

**> Beagle Bot removed ferdielicious from the groupchat. <**

**Hubert:** Yes.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL 

**findingdorythea:** GFSJGFFDJGJF FERDIE

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** FERDINAND DIED

**findingdorythea:** F

**princesspetra:** F

**> findingdorythea added ferdielicious to the groupchat. <**

**Beagle Bot: ** Welcome to the official Black Eagles groupchat. 

No NSFW is allowed at all under any circumstances. Refrain from posting during class hours (9AM-11PM and 1PM-3PM) unless it is an emergency, and disrespectful comments regarding Lady Edelgard and the Adrestrian Empire will NOT be tolerated. Contempt towards the Church, however, is allowed and encouraged.

**ferdielicious:** hm! i dont like this bot

**ferdielicious:** hubbert get rid of it

**Hubert:** Stop calling me that.

**findingdorythea:** hubbert

**princesspetra:** Hubbert

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** hubbert

**sleepy bitch disease: ** hubbert

**Hubert:** You’re all incorrigible. 

**> Edie is online. <**

**princesspetra:** Hello Edelgard!

**findingdorythea:** hi edie! my love 💗💗💗

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** hey edelgard!

**Edie:** Hello everyone!

**Hubert:** Greetings, Lady Edelgard. I apologize for my inadequate moderation of the groupchat. It has become a harmful distraction to our class’s education, but I assure you that everyone’s behavior will be corrected promptly.

**> Edie changed Hubert’s name to hubbert. <**

**hubbert:** Lady Edelgard.

**ferdielicious:** OHHHHHH

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** LEGENDDDD

**findingdorythea:** HGFJKHGKDFJRYJKVB EDIE I LOVE U SO MUCH OMG

**Edie:** Don’t worry about the groupchat Hubert. It’s fine the way it is. While you’re correct that we should prioritize our studies, I made this groupchat primarily so we could all spend extra time together and bond. There’s no need for such strictness and formalities in here. 

**Edie:** You’re still allowed to mod, of course, but this group is small and already tight knit as it is, so please don’t stress yourself out about it.

**findingdorythea:** preach it girl!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** yea edelgard gets it!

**hubbert:** As you wish, Lady Edelgard. I shall attempt to approach this in a more...relaxed manner from now on.

**Edie:** Thank you Hubert.

**Edie:** Anyways, I have important news to share. It’s the Garland Moon, and the other two houses have invited us to celebrate. It’ll be held this weekend in one of the larger classrooms and we’ll be helping them make preparations.

**findingdorythea:** OMG! yes!!! 

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** YEAHHH PARTAY! I CANT WAIT

**princesspetra:** I am sorry to ask, but what is special about the Garland Moon? I do not know much of Fodlan’s customs. 

**findingdorythea:** dont apologize petra u didnt do anything wrong! on the month of garland moon we have this tradition of weaving flowers into garlands

**ferdielicious:** white roses to be more specific

  
  
**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** yeah what those two said lol

  
  
**findingdorythea:** thank you, caspar, for your helpful input

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** no problem! 

  
  
**findingdorythea:** we give the garlands to our friends and to people you really love! because of that a lot of confessions happen during this time too 💞💞💞

**princesspetra:** Oh I see! It sounds very fun. I am excited for our celebration, thank you for explaining!

**findingdorythea:** anything for you my dearest petra ✨

**Edie:** Yes! I’m looking forward to it as well. 

**Edie:** Back to business now. Is everyone prepared for the exam tomorrow?

**ferdielicious:** Of course! In fact, you can expect me to score a higher grade than you tomorrow Edelgard!

**Edie:** Whatever you say, Ferdinand.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** im never ready haha but its chill me n linny are gonna cram like hell after class today

**sleepy bitch disease: ** YOURE the one cramming, not me. ive been studying for this exam this past week

**findingdorythea:** petra bernadetta and i are planning on having a study group today!

  
  
**princesspetra:** Yes! Would you like to join us Edelgard?

**Edie:** I would love to!

**findingdorythea:** bernieeee are you here?

**feelthebern:** hhi

**feelthebern:** sorry.. ive just been lurking

**findingdorythea:** thats ok! ✨✨✨are you still down to study with us?

**feelthebern:** o h yes!!! ofc!!!

**Edie:** Wonderful, I’ll see you girls later today. :)

**ferdielicious:** may i join in?

**findingdorythea:** sorry ferdie but its a girls night tonight~ maybe another time

**ferdielicious:** of course! then i suppose i could do some extra studying with…hm

**ferdielicious:** hubert?

  
  
**> hubbert is offline. <**

**ferdielicious:** oh

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** oof thats rough buddy

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG: ** u can study with me n linny if u want! we’ll be in the library later

**ferdielicious:** oh! thank you caspar. ill meet you two there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one feels a little short, but the next chapter will be considerably longer. I know it's still only a few chapters in but updates will slow down considerably because school's a pain in the butt, sorry! T^T I do intend to finish this fic but it just won't be an immediate priority~ Thanks for readinggg


	4. Beans On Toast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The houses try to start planning for the party!
> 
> The keyword here is "try".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **@profisher // Professor Byleth** \- Byleth
> 
> 💙🦁 **Blue Lions** 💙🦁
> 
> **annette!!!** \- Annette  
**a shoe bert** \- Ashe  
**d1ebymybl4de** \- Felix  
**I’m a healer, but...🔫** \- Mercedes  
**ingwid - Ingrid**  
**its deduesday** \- Dedue  
**MozzarellaMan** \- Dimitri  
**thotier** \- Sylvain
> 
> 🖤🦅 **Black Eagles** 🖤🦅
> 
> **Edie** \- Edelgard  
**findingdorythea** \- Dorothea  
**feelthebern** \- Bernadetta  
**ferdielicous** \- Ferdinand  
**hubbert** \- Hubert  
**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG** \- Caspar  
**princesspetra** \- Petra  
**sleepy bitch disease** \- Linhardt
> 
> 💛🦌 **Golden Deer** 💛🦌
> 
> **beef broganoff** \- Raphael  
**hildahilda** \- Hilda  
**hors** \- Marianne  
**leonardodaBINCHI** \- Ignatz  
**microorganism** \- Lysithea  
**purple nurple** \- Lorenz  
**sexy arrow** \- Claude  
**#1Jeraltfan** \- Leonie

**[d1ebymybl4de -> thotier]:** sylvain.

**[d1ebymybl4de -> thotier]:** did you know that the boar is lactose intolerant?

**[thotier -> d1ebymybl4de]:** lmao WHAT the dude eats cheese all the time though

**[thotier -> d1ebymybl4de]:** we’ve known dimitri since the beginning of time thats crazy lol

**[d1ebymybl4de -> thotier]:** yeah it rlly is

**[thotier -> d1ebymybl4de]:** huh, i just realized. its not like u to be the one messaging me first lol

**[thotier -> d1ebymybl4de]:** does this mean youre gonna let me back into the groupchat? i rlly miss everyone

**[thotier -> d1ebymybl4de]:** ive missed you most of all tho 😘

**[d1ebymybl4de -> thotier]:** we can still dm each other you idiot

**[d1ebymybl4de -> thotier]:** ...but ill think about it

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

🌚🌝**Gayreg Mach’s Funky Fresh Garland Moon Gathering**🌝🌚

**> Edie added hubbert, findingdorythea, and 5 others to the groupchat. <**

**> MozzarellaMan added its deduesday, annette!!!, and 4 others to the groupchat. <**

**> sexy arrow added hildahilda, purple nurple, and 6 others to the groupchat. <**

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** FIRST

**thotier:** first

**thotier:** aw FUCK

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** HAHA!!!!!!!

**MozzarellaMan:** Hello everyone, the three of us house leaders have decided to create one big group chat so we can all plan for the celebration together.

**Edie:** We’ll be using this chat to delegate duties and keep track of everything. It’ll be a great inter-house bonding experience. :)

**sexy arrow:** t minus 4 days until the party folks! we gotta make it memorable

**sexy arrow:** as an incentive to make sure everyone’s putting in effort and attending: teach is gonna come with someone special 👀

**hildahilda: **👀

**findingdorythea: **👀

**MozzarellaMan:** The professor accepted our invitation? That’s great news!

**ferdielicious: **👀 who’s the special person?

**sexy arrow: **dunno! we won’t know until the day of the party

**sexy arrow: **but i have my suspicions

**microorganism:** There aren’t a lot of options at the monastery, though. It can’t be too hard to infer who it is.

**a shoe bert:** yeah! there’s only the other professors and the church staff

**purple nurple:** Definitely NOT the church staff, Ashe.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** isn’t that just rhea and seteth? yeahhh thats gonna be a hard no from me dawg

**> Beagle Bot removed I AM THE FUCKING STRONG from the groupchat. <**

**a shoe bert:** oh i meant like a random worker from the church! not those two haha

**a shoe bert:** uh...what just happened to caspar?

**sexy arrow: **hello??? a chat bot? owo

**findingdorythea:** omg hubert you didnt

**ferdielicious:** hubert...did you put in the beagle bot?

**hubbert:** I did no such thing.

**ferdielicious:** oh

**ferdielicious:** my god

**princesspetra:** I think it removed Caspar for saying the archbishop’s name!

**thotier: **LMAO he fucking died f

**MozzarellaMan:** Why do you guys have a bot that bans you for saying that?

**hubbert:** That’s none of your business.

**d1ebymybl4de:** can i get the code for that bot? i think i might have some good use for it in the blue lions group chat.

**hubbert:** This bot is made specifically for the Black Eagles groupchat. However, I can DM you a free to use base code for you to program your own.

**thotier: **i’m suddenly terrified and i'm not even in that group chat atm!

**> Edie added I AM THE FUCKING STRONG back into the groupchat. <**

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG: **NOT COOL HUBERT.

**Edie:** Hubert, please remove the bot from this group chat. I don’t believe any of the other houses will appreciate it here, so it’s best that it’s left in our own instead.

**hubbert:** Very well Lady Edelgard. I will do as you wish.

**sexy arrow:** lmaooo you black eagles are wild!

**sexy arrow: **anyways could you imagine? the professor with SETETH?? pls say sike

**hildahilda:** gbfhjs omg ikr?? i’m pretty sure he’s that dude who brushes his teeth before AND after breakfast

**findingdorythea:** i bet he claps after watching a movie

**thotier:** >assuming this man watches movies

**MozzarellaMan:** It could be worse. The professor could be with Hanneman.

**ingwid:** HANNEMAN???

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** NOOOO NOT HANNEMAN

**d1ebymybl4de:** oh my god. of all the cursed things you have to fucking say.

**sexy arrow:** GHJKFGHDJKFHG NO TEACH IS DEFINITELY NOT WITH HANNEMAN

**sexy arrow:** ...I hope

**MozzarellaMan:** I apologize for having suggested such a horrifying pairing.

**a shoe bert:** its all good ur highness! that was honestly kinda funny

**its deduesday: **Yes, you have a great sense of humor Your Highness.

**MozzarellaMan:** Thanks you two! :)

**its deduesday:** :)

**a shoe bert:** :)

**d1ebymybl4de:** he really doesn’t.

**its deduesday:** >:(

**a shoe bert:** :(

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** oh shitttt

**ingwid:** dont start fighting in here you guys!

**a shoe bert:** we wont!! sorry u guys what were u all saying?

**findingdorythea: **i can imagine the professor being with catherine! or shamir? the professor likes people who’re really tough and badass right?

**annette!!!:** i think so! but aren’t they already with each other dorothea?

**findingdorythea: **oh i think you’re right, nevermind then!

**findingdorythea: **those two are such goals tho omg 😍😍😍

**Edie:** We love a powerful lesbian couple.

**findingdorythea: **RIGHT???

**ferdielicious: **i think all that’s left are manuela and jeritza

**ingwid:** i dont think its manuela but... jeritza, huh?

**microorganism:** I can see it happening.

**hildahilda: **they DO kinda have the same energy…

**hildahilda:** quiet, kinda mysterious and peculiar

**findingdorythea:** awkward but strong fighters

**sleepy bitch disease:** and theyre both mouth breathers

**thotier:** both mouth breathers...its a match made in heaven!

**sexy arrow: **maybe! but again, we won’t know for sure until saturday ;)

**hildahilda: **omggg i cant wait!! saturday cant come fast enough 😔

**sexy arrow:** 😔 i know hilda, i know

**sexy arrow: **now then, since we’re on the topic of couples and it’s the garland moon….

**sexy arrow: **who are yall makin SPECIAL garlands for? 👀

**purple nurple:** Won’t sharing that ruin the surprise for people getting the garlands?

**ferdielicious:** i think a lot of us already know who’s giving to who already so it’s probably fine?

**microorganism:** Yeah a lot of you guys are pretty obvious.

**microorganism:** Like you, Ferdinand!

**ferdielicious:** excuse me what?????

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG: **yeah ferdinand! u and hubert aint slick lol

**ferdielicious: **HUH???

**ferdielicious:** says the guy who was literally holding hands with linhardt at the library all day yesterday!

**sleepy bitch disease:** my hands were cold

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** yeah his hands were cold!! i was just helping a bro out

**ferdielicious:** suuuuuuuuure

**thotier:** press x to doubt

**a shoe bert:** oh wow caspar thats so nice of you to help linhardt!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** ikr im pretty great 😎

**findingdorythea: **well! idk abt u guys but ill be making garlands for every single girl here! 💝💖💘

**annette!!!:** aww thats so sweet of u dorothea!

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** Yes! Thanks so much! I’ll make one for all you girls too :) With your favorite snacks to go with it!

**princesspetra:** I do not how to make a garland yet, but I will do my best!

**Edie:** No worries Petra! We can teach you. I’m looking forward to exchanging flowers with you all as well.

**hildahilda:** omg same!!!

**hildahilda:** but marianne’s getting an EXTRA NICE one from me 💙

**hors:** thank you hilda! im mmaking you a special one too.. 💗

**thotier:** haha omgggg im making garlands for all u lovely ladies too!!

**findingdorythea:** no thanks sylvain

**#1Jeraltfan:** we don’t want any

**ingwid:** yeahhhh i think ill pass

**thotier:** 😔 whack

**sexy arrow:** oh noooo pick ur head up king ur garland is falling 😔

**d1ebymybl4de:** assuming he actually gets one?

**thotier:** aw felix ur not gonna make me a garland? 🥺

**d1ebymybl4de: **no.

**thotier:** 🥺🥺🥺🥺

**sexy arrow:** if he doesnt give u one i will! 😘😘

**thotier:** omg thanks claude! ur so nice to me u flatter me u appreciate everything that i do and i 😍😚😚😚💙💙

**sexy arrow:** 😍😘💛💛💛💛

**hors:** uum sorry to interrupt but..arent we supposed to be plannin g the party ?

**MozzarellaMan:** Yes! Thank you for reminding us Marianne. Let’s move on before Claude starts derailing the group chat again.

**sexy arrow:** hey!

**MozzarellaMan:** The three main things we need to cover are food, flowers, and setup.

**Edie:** We were thinking about giving a task to each house, but then decided perhaps it’d be better if we form new groups based on what each of you are most interested in helping out with.

**purple nurple:** With all due respect, you three do realize that means almost everyone will want to participate in preparing food?

**#1Jeraltfan:** what makes u say that lorenz?

**sexy arrow:** it’s just the foodies right? mercedes, annette, dedue,

**sexy arrow:** ashe, ingrid...raphael...lysithea...ooh ok i see your point. but that’s not like EVERYONE though! 7 folks is barely the size of a house

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** i just noticed most of them are blue lions tho lmao why is that?

**thotier:** honestly? im surprised too like no one in faerghus knows how to cook except for mercie and dedue LOL

**annette!!!:** no one can cook in faerghus because the soil is too cold to grow anything edible T^T

**ingwid:** ^^^^ it makes you learn to appreciate cooking skills and literally anything that’s not faerghus cuisine

**beef broganoff:** 😱😱😱😱 thats so sad!

**beef broganoff:** theres no way id be able to live a day in faerghus!

**thotier:** ur so lucky dude. its so hard to get all the protein and nutrience u need when ur a big boy in faerghus 😔

**ingwid:** nutrience

**sexy arrow: **nutrience

**thotier:** see what i mean? im lacking so many brain vitamins i cant even spell right 😩

**beef broganoff:** 😨 well you guys are invited to my place anytime for good eats!

**annette!!!:** aww thanks raphael!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** oh damn so if u don’t grow a lot of food what do u guys eat? rocks? beans on toast?

**findingdorythea: **LOL beans on toast? is that a legit kingdom dish?

**thotier:** felix eats beans on toast

**sexy arrow: **omg felix do u rlly? u rlly eat beans on toast?

**d1ebymybl4de: **no i fucking dont beans on toast is nasty

**thotier:** i literally saw u the other day

**thotier:** with a whole giant fucking plate

**thotier:** of beans on toast

**d1ebymybl4de: **die.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** damn felix chill! go eat some beans on toast or smthn

**MozzarellaMan:** During particularly harsh winters we often have to resort to eating weeds.

**findingdorythea:** WEEDS??? are...are u guys ok???

**thotier: **since when have any of us been?

**findingdorythea:** damn ur right lol

**a shoe bert: **we’re ok! i dont really know whats with the weed thing though? your highness?

**ingwid:** lol we dont actually eat weeds

**ingwid: **i mean i guess people COULD if it’s like, really REALLY bad? but it’d have to be like, if the whole kingdom became a tundra and is going thru a famine and there’s literally nothing else to eat

**annette!!!: **but that only happens a few times every once in a blue moon so dont worry u guys!

**I’m a healer, but...🔫: **Yes! Eating weeds is more of a Dimitri thing, really!

**Edie:** Dimitri...you’re still doing that?

**MozzarellaMan:** …

**MozzarellaMan:** Anyways, Lorenz, if you’re worried that too many people will sign up for certain tasks, we can make adjustments and rotate people if necessary.

**purple nurple:** Fair enough I suppose.

**Edie:** Don’t change the subject Dimitri.

**MozzarellaMan:** I don’t know what you’re talking about? We need to focus on the task at hand, Edelgard.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** lorenz just doesnt wanna get stuck with clean up or something lmfao

**Edie:** Everyone has to help clean up at the end, there’s no avoiding it.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** whack

**a shoe bert:** it’s only fair, caspar

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** I MEAN I GUESS but thats gonna take away my training time!

**d1ebymybl4de: **this guy gets it.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** f...fellow warrior

**d1ebymybl4de: **fellow warrior

**d1ebymybl4de: **do u wanna spar with me again at the training grounds today?

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** hell yeah ill come over in a sec

**thotier:** oh shit r u guys sparring again? im coming to watch lmao

**ingwid:** sylvains willingly coming to the training grounds?

**MozzarellaMan:** I know right? I’m shocked myself.

**purple nurple: **What’s so exciting about those two sparring?

**thotier:** one time i saw felix and caspar train and they were literally just hitting each other with lawn chairs

**d1ebymybl4de: **it works

**sexy arrow:** and you didnt get that on video???

**thotier:** my bad! ill do it this time

**I’m a healer, but...🔫: **Should I come too? Both of you are such strong fighters, I’m sure that at least one of you guys will need a healer :0

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** its all good mercedes! linny’s coming along with me but thanks for the offer!

**d1ebymybl4de: **im at the training grounds now

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** oh shit ill be there soon

**thotier:** can u pls hurry im there too and felix looks like he’s gonna throw his lawn chair at me 😰

**d1ebymybl4de: **im not gonna do that -_-

**sexy arrow:** record that too pls!

**MozzarellaMan:** Wait! We need to put you two in a group for the party!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** im cool with whatever u put me in dimitri

**d1ebymybl4de: **same. i dont care

**> d1ebymybl4de is offline. <**

**> I AM THE FUCKING STRONG is offline. <**

**sexy arrow:** lol put them on the flower team

**MozzarellaMan:** Is...is that a good idea?

**Edie:** Sure, I’ll put them on flower gathering duty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having to fix up my formatting kills me every time >_<


	5. BF (Bro Friend)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gets a little bit more planning done! But who's to say they'll follow through with it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **@profisher // Professor Byleth** \- Byleth
> 
> 💙🦁 **Blue Lions** 💙🦁
> 
> **annette!!!** \- Annette  
**a shoe bert** \- Ashe  
**d1ebymybl4de** \- Felix  
**I’m a healer, but...🔫** \- Mercedes  
**ingwid - Ingrid**  
**its deduesday** \- Dedue  
**MozzarellaMan** \- Dimitri  
**thotier** \- Sylvain
> 
> 🖤🦅 **Black Eagles** 🖤🦅
> 
> **Edie** \- Edelgard  
**findingdorythea** \- Dorothea  
**feelthebern** \- Bernadetta  
**ferdielicous** \- Ferdinand  
**hubbert** \- Hubert  
**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG** \- Caspar  
**princesspetra** \- Petra  
**sleepy bitch disease** \- Linhardt
> 
> 💛🦌 **Golden Deer** 💛🦌
> 
> **beef broganoff** \- Raphael  
**hildahilda** \- Hilda  
**hors** \- Marianne  
**leonardodaBINCHI** \- Ignatz  
**microorganism** \- Lysithea  
**purple nurple** \- Lorenz  
**sexy arrow** \- Claude  
**#1Jeraltfan** \- Leonie

🌚🌝Gayreg Mach’s Funky Fresh Garland Moon Gathering🌝🌚

**thotier:** [lawnchairs.mov]

**thotier:** felix dude!! u totally owned that spar lol

**d1ebymybl4de:** thanks, ive been practicing my lawn chair throwing skills

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** gg bro ill get u next time for sure 😤😤😤

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** soooo edelgard! what did u put me in for!

**Edie:** You and Felix are going to be a part of flower gathering duty.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** sweeeeet

**d1ebymybl4de:** can i get put in something else?

**thotier:** aww felix u dont wanna pick flowers with me?

**MozzarellaMan:** It’ll be fun, Felix! I’m in the team as well.

**d1ebymybl4de:** youll just crush the flowers -_-

**MozzarellaMan:** No I won’t. I’ve been practicing handling my strength better. Annette, Ashe, and Mercedes have been helping me work on my grip!

**annette!!!:** yeah! he can hold flowers without crushing their stalks anymore!

**d1ebymybl4de:** yeah ok sure, but id seriously rather be a part of setup instead or something. i can help better that way

**thotier:** i always thought you liked flowers felix? lol

**d1ebymybl4de:** i just think its pointless to pick them. why do ppl give flowers as a sign of love when they’ll just wilt after like 2 days? 

**ingwid:** felix, i remember u bawling ur eyes out as a kid whenever u stepped on a daisy

**thotier:** oh yeahhhh i remember that too! maybe thats why he doesnt like picking them lol

**d1ebymybl4de:** i have never done that ever in my entire life idk what ur talking abt

**sexy arrow:** aww did felix rlly? Cute lmao

**d1ebymybl4de:** -_-

**a shoe bert:** felix! you like flowers? u should take up gardening with dedue! 

**its deduesday:** You’re welcome to join me anytime Felix.

**d1ebymybl4de:** ...i might check it out whenever i have time

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** guys i kinda have to agree with felix on the flowers thing

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** if u rlly wanna let ur partner know you’ll love them forever u gotta get them something that actually LASTS that long. like a ROCK!

**findingdorythea:** a rock. how incredibly romantic!

**d1ebymybl4de:** no get them a sword instead

**MozzarellaMan:** Is that what people truly prefer? I was told in the past that swords or any blades in general are not an appropriate gift to give.

**Edie:** I can confirm that girls, at least, love swords

**princesspetra** Yes! I am in agreement!

  
**#1Jeraltfan:** honestly? yeah id pick swords over flowers any day

**thotier:** 📝👀 good to know!

**thotier:** and dw felix ill make a garland of swords just for u ;)

**d1ebymybl4de:** now  _ thats _ what i wanna hear

**hildahilda:** gayyy

**sexy arrow:** fellas...is it gay

**hors:** oh!! is felix ur bf sylvain?

**thotier:** if by bf u mean bro friend then yeah

**ferdielicous:** that sounds pretty gay to me 

**thotier:** shut up ferdinand dont u and hubert know each other’s favorite tea and have tea parties all the time? 

**thotier:** thats pretty homosexual of you if you ask me hmmmm

**ferdielicous:** hubert prefers coffee actually

**thotier:** of course he does

**thotier:** anyways im not gay im just considerate of what felix likes cuz he’s my bro

**d1ebymybl4de:** yeah hes just being a bro 

**thotier:** thanks for having my back bro ur the best bro

  
**d1ebymybl4de:** anytime bro

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** yeah i can vouch that theyre just two bros

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** some of u will never understand a warrior’s bond so as a fellow warrior i can tell u right here and now that this? is an epic bro moment

**sleepy bitch disease:** caspar, when we practiced garland weaving yesterday you made me a flower crown and said you’d take a “stick to the buttcheek” for me

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** WARRIOR’S BOND

**thotier:** oh damn… hey felix do we have a warriors bond like they do?

**d1ebymybl4de:** maybe

**thotier:** thats not exactly a no so i’ll take it!

**thotier:** and claude? do we have a warriors bond too?

**sexy arrow:** hell yeah bro 😍

**thotier:** omg bro 😍😍

**Edie:** Felix’s thoughts on flowers has given me an idea, actually. I guess we could also bring in extra things to make as garlands that aren’t flowers, change up tradition a bit.

**Edie:** Any ideas on what to bring?

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** rocks

**beef broganoff: ** POPCORN 

**I’m a healer, but...🔫: ** Beads?

**microorganism:** CANDY BEADS!

**ferdielicous:** tea bags!

**d1ebymybl4de: ** swords

**MozzarellaMan: ** Cheese, please.

**hildahilda: ** minecraft 

**findingdorythea: ** bells would be cute! or paper stars 🌟🌟🌟

**sexy arrow:** also minecraft

**Edie:** ...I’m not sure why I bothered asking some of you.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** it’s cool edelgard we’ll just bring it ourselves!

**ferdielicous:** how are you guys going to bring minecraft and make it into a garland?

**sexy arrow:** oh you know…

**ferdielicous:** ??? i dont? im scared now

**hildahilda: ** dont worry about it ferdie! you’ll see

**Edie:** Oh okay, you all can take care of that on your own then. We’ve also got the list of teams ready if you guys would like to hear it.

**annette!!!:** yes pls!!!

**princesspetra: ** We are ready Edelgard!

**Edie:** Those helping out with setup and decorations are me, Hubert, Bernadetta, Ferdinand, Ignatz, Leonie, Lorenz, and Hilda.

**MozzarellaMan: ** People in charge of gathering flowers are Felix, Sylvain, Dorothea, Caspar, Linhardt, Petra, Marianne, and myself.

**sexy arrow:** and the folks providing the good eats are me, lysithea, raphael, mercedes, annette, dedue, ingrid, and ashe!

**thotier:** ayyy we finally got some planning done for once!

**hildahilda:** omg noooo! why do i have to help with set up that’s so much worrrrk 😫😫😫

**ingwid:** because you’re ridiculously strong and can help move stuff around?

**hildahilda:** yea but it still takes EFFORT to do it!

**hors:** umm...you can switch with me and do flowers if you’d like hilda…! i’m not as strong but i can do your task for you!

**hildahilda:** NOOOOO NO NO NO ITS OK MARI!!! you pick the flowers i can do the setup just fine!!! 💗💕💝

**hors:** oh ok! if you’re sure… <3

**sexy arrow:** lmaoooo nice try hilda

**d1ebymybl4de: ** can i switch out of flowers? i said i didnt want to do that :/

**MozzarellaMan: ** The groups aren’t strictly enforced or anything, it’s more of a way to mix up the crowd. You guys can switch tasks or help out with more than one, as long as you’re pitching in at the end of the day.

**d1ebymybl4de: ** cool. im moving to set up

**Edie:** Welcome to the team Felix! 

**thotier:** nooooo felix dont leave me! dont u remember our promise?

**d1ebymybl4de: ** what does that have to do with anything?

**thotier:** 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 

**findingdorythea:** whats all this about a promise?

**thotier:** when me and felix were kids we swore to each other that we’d ride or die together 🤘😩 we still havent broken it!

**d1ebymybl4de: ** every day you test me

**thotier:** 😘

**findingdorythea:** awwww that’s so sweet!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** linny we gotta do this too bro! we gotta make a life pact

**sleepy bitch disease:** huh

**sleepy bitch disease:** yeah sure im down

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** YES

**ferdielicious:** wait, so me knowing hubert’s favorite tea is gay but you two making a lifelong pact that’s lasted since childhood isn’t? 

**thotier:** thats right!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** yeah ferdie get with the program!

**ferdielicious:** 😑

**[hubbert -> ferdielicious]:** Ferdinand. Does it bother you that we do not have a life pact?

**[ferdielicious -> hubbert]:** oh no not really! i just think its funny how they all act so open about their relationships but pretend they’re not together

**[ferdielicious -> hubbert]:** but… 👉👈 perhaps we could make one over tea and coffee?

**[hubbert -> ferdielicious]:** I’ll bring paper to put it in writing.

**[ferdielicious -> hubbert]:** oh? you'd like to have it documented?

**[hubbert -> ferdielicious]:** It's so I can frame it next to the lifelong pact that Lady Edelgard and I have made.

**[ferdielicious -> hubbert]:** ah. in that case, i want a copy too!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like I might've made Felix too mean in the early chapters ;; but then again he might be one of those "sounds mean through text" kinda guys lol
> 
> The next chapter will be a bit longer. Thanks for reading!


	6. Soup Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dimitri uses his brain cell for the wrong reason, Felix gets a taste of power, and Sylvain makes a big decision.
> 
> Ingrid just wants a wholesome group chat.
> 
> [This is the chapter where I remind you all of the T rating (only very briefly!) for not rated G language you'd expect from teens and young adults.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **@profisher // Professor Byleth** \- Byleth
> 
> 💙🦁 **Blue Lions** 💙🦁
> 
> **annette!!!** \- Annette  
**a shoe bert** \- Ashe  
**d1ebymybl4de** \- Felix  
**I’m a healer, but...🔫** \- Mercedes  
**ingwid - Ingrid**  
**its deduesday** \- Dedue  
**MozzarellaMan** \- Dimitri  
**thotier** \- Sylvain
> 
> 🖤🦅 **Black Eagles** 🖤🦅
> 
> **Edie** \- Edelgard  
**findingdorythea** \- Dorothea  
**feelthebern** \- Bernadetta  
**ferdielicous** \- Ferdinand  
**hubbert** \- Hubert  
**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG** \- Caspar  
**princesspetra** \- Petra  
**sleepy bitch disease** \- Linhardt
> 
> 💛🦌 **Golden Deer** 💛🦌
> 
> **beef broganoff** \- Raphael  
**hildahilda** \- Hilda  
**hors** \- Marianne  
**leonardodaBINCHI** \- Ignatz  
**microorganism** \- Lysithea  
**purple nurple** \- Lorenz  
**sexy arrow** \- Claude  
**#1Jeraltfan** \- Leonie

🌚🌝 **Gayreg Mach’s Funky Fresh Garland Moon Gathering** 🌝🌚

**ingwid: ** FELIX

**ingwid: ** @d1ebymybl4de @d1ebymybl4de @d1ebymybl4de

**MozzarellaMan:** Felix we know you’re online. Stop ghosting us!

**thotier:** ??? what’s wrong? is felix ok?

**its deduesday:** Nothing is wrong Sylvain. Felix just put in a chatbot that kicked most of the Blue Lions out.

**MozzarellaMan:** As far as I know, Annette, Ashe, and Mercedes are still in it. But they don’t have permissions to add people back in.

**thotier:** LOOOOOOOOL HOLY SHIT

**thotier:** not surprised that those three are still in. Felix would literally die for them

**findingdorythea:** honestly? i think we all would 

**findingdorythea: ** and we’re all in different houses! which says a lot about how nice those three are

**Edie:** Hubert, did you give Beagle Bot to Felix?

**hubbert:** I did no such thing.

**hubbert:** I gave Felix a  _ base code _ for a similar bot. There’s a difference.

**Edie:** Of course you did.

**sexy arrow:** so what did u guys say that got u kicked out?

**ingwid:** i think i said something with dimitri’s name in it

**MozzarellaMan:** I was talking about cheese.

**its deduesday:** I also said cheese.

**thotier:** …okay thats not really surprising im not sure why i thought something worse happened

**ingwid:** yeah, dimitri was asking for our thoughts about his revelation about cheese and i said “dimitri, that’s really dumb”

**thotier:** and felix didn’t agree with you?

**ingwid:** i got kicked before i could see his reaction :/

**hildahilda:** hold up i wanna hear about dimitris cheese revelation

**sexy arrow:** i never thought id see the words “cheese” and revelation” used together LOL 

**sexy arrow:** u guys cant just say things like that out of context and not follow up!

**microorganism:** Claude, you do that all the time with us.

**sexy arrow:** but have i ever said “cheese revelation” before? 

**microorganism:** ...Good point. Now I want to hear about this too.

**its deduesday:** Your Highness, you’ll be able to get more thoughts about it if you share here.

**MozzarellaMan:** You’re absolutely right Dedue! Okay, everyone bear with me here. 

**ingwid:** here we go again 🙄

**thotier:** ingrid shhh i wanna hear his cheesy secrets

**MozzarellaMan:** So...swiss cheese has a lot of holes, right?

**Edie:** Right.

**MozzarellaMan:** The more cheese you have, the more holes you have.

**its deduesday:** You’re doing great Your Highness.

**hildahilda:** yeah go OFF!!!

**MozzarellaMan:** And the more holes you have, the less cheese you have.

**ferdielicious:** i have no idea where this is heading im scared

**ferdielicious:** hubert! hold my hand for me?

**hubbert: ** Of course.

**ferdielicious:** thank you

**MozzarellaMan:** Therefore, the more cheese you have, the less cheese you have.

**hildahilda:** …

**thotier:** mind. blown.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** ??? what??? i dont get it

**Edie:** Dimitri, I say this as a friend and close sister: That’s literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

**ingwid:** that’s what i said!!!

**MozzarellaMan:** Don’t be afraid of what you’ve yet to understand, Edelgard.

**findingdorythea:** i think maybe felix was right in letting the bot kick you out

**thotier:** honestly yeah thats fair lol

**sexy arrow:** idk what u guys are talking about dimitris making perfect sense to me!

**MozzarellaMan:** Thank you Claude. At least you understand my genius.

**sexy arrow:** bros who have galaxy brains at 3 AM gotta stick together!

**sexy arrow:** 🤝

**MozzarellaMan:** 🤝

**hildahilda:** LOL that’s so you dimitri

**purple nurple:** Everyone behold... the next leader of Faerghus. 

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** guys i still dont get it!!! can someone pls explain

**findingdorythea:** dont worry about it caspar! what we should be worrying about is why you guys are always up at 3 AM???

**Edie:** Yes, that’s really concerning.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** im lookin up dragon ball z trivia around that time lmao

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** wait, you guys ARENT up at 3AM?

**ferdielicious:** why would any of us be?

**MozzarellaMan:** I usually have trouble falling asleep, so I think about things until I get tired.

**ferdielicious:** aka cheese?

**MozzarellaMan:** Yes.

**thotier:** 3 AM is soup time for me and claude

**ingwid:** what? soup time? why are u guys eating soup that late at night?

**sexy arrow:** because i get hungry and sylvain makes a really good fish and bean soup?

**thotier:** because i’ve lost control of my life and i make a really good fish and bean soup

**thotier:** oh shit jinx lmao

**findingdorythea:** ...are u okay sylvain?

**thotier:** LOL yeah its just nihilistic humor dw 

**ingwid:** right...so how are u making fish and bean soup in the kitchen past school curfew? im surprised u even know how a stove works, sylvain

**thotier:** claude helped me out a few times so im a pro at cooking soup now ;) 

**sexy arrow:** who says he’s making it in the kitchen?

**ferdielicious:** h...huh??

**ingwid:** …?

**thotier:** 3 words. claude’s hot plate

**findingdorythea: ** oh! okay

**sexy arrow:** lmao what did u guys think it was gonna be? we just eat soup, play chess, and chill in my room

**purple nurple:** Knowing you and Sylvain...we usually expect much worse.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** yo what can i have some soup too? im always up at 3 am

**its deduesday:** I’d like to come visit too.

**beef broganoff:** I HEARD FOOD AND NOW IM HERE.

**sexy arrow:** yeah you’re all welcome to join! just dont tell seteth lol

**sexy arrow:** but with a bunch more ppl coming now, i think my hot plate’s too small to hold a pot big enough to make several servings. we’ll have to sneak into the kitchen from now on 😂

**its deduesday:** That’s fine Claude. Do you guys have soup time every night?

**thotier:** nah its 3 am every fat pussy friday in claude’s room...or the kitchen now i guess. be there or be square!

**ingwid:** f...

**ingwid:** fat pussy friday???

**thotier:** yes, ingrid, fat pussy friday. the 5th day of the week? assuming you start at mega meat monday

**hildahilda:** i literally had no interest in this before but when you put it like THAT...i guess i have no choice but to come too!

**ingwid:** MEGA MEAT MONDAY???

**thotier:** twisted dick tuesday

**findingdorythea:** titties out tuesday*

**sexy arrow:** whack your weiner wednesday

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** thick thots thursday

**thotier:** fat pussy friday, slut it up saturday, and seiros knows id smash sunday!

**hildahilda:** hmmm... i dont hate it, but the last one’s kind of a mouthful dont u think?

**thotier:** noted. how about stupid shit sunday?

**hildahilda:** much better!

**ferdielicious:** i….im speechless

**ingwid:** i hate you sylvain

**ingwid:** @d1ebymybl4de PLEASE. LET ME BACK IN. 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

💙🦁  **Blue Lions !!! ** 💙🦁

**d1ebymybl4de:** it’s so nice and quiet now :)

**d1ebymybl4de: ** [gautieroncat.png]

**annette!!!:** omg its so cute! it reminds me of sylvain!

**a shoe bert:** i havent seen that kitty around the monastery before! ill share it with caspar

**a shoe bert:** but uh, felix? i just scrolled up and what happened in here earlier today?

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** Oh! It looks like Felix had some fun with his new chat bot :D

**a shoe bert:** are we the only ones in here now?

**annette!!!:** i’m still here too!

**annette!!!:** felix. invite everyone back in.

**d1ebymybl4de:** :l why? the group chat’s better like this

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** It’s not really the Blue Lions group chat without everyone here Felix :0

**a shoe bert:** yeah! they haven’t been gone for long but i already miss seeing them here…

**d1ebymybl4de:** i see your point ashe but also consider this: i just looked into the main chat and immediately wished i didn’t have eyes

**annette!!!:** felix i won’t say this again! bring everyone back in, apologize, and get rid of the chat bot! or else!

**d1ebymybl4de:** or else what?

**annette!!!:** or else i wont sing for you anymore 😡 and you wont get to hear my new song!

**a shoe bert:** uh oh. annette’s serious! 

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** You’d better listen to her!

**d1ebymybl4de:** ok ok fine im sorry annette ill invite everyone back

**annette!!!:** and i’ll stop sharing cute cat pictures with you!

**d1ebymybl4de:** no! i already said i’ll bring them back! 

**> d1ebymybl4de added MozzarellaMan, its deduesday, and ingwid to the groupchat. <**

**ingwid:** YES!!!

**a shoe bert:** dedue!! welcome back!

**its deduesday:** Hello again Ashe 😊

**annette!!!:** you’re forgetting someone, felix.

**d1ebymybl4de:** …...fine.

**> d1ebymybl4de added thotier to the groupchat. <**

**ingwid:** NOOO

**thotier:** aw yeahhhh daddy long dick just landed in fodlan baby! its great to be back!

**ingwid:** 😑😑😑😑

**MozzarellaMan:** Thank you for letting us back into the chat Felix.

**d1ebymybl4de:** i only did it because they asked me to

**a shoe bert:** annette threatened you*

**thotier:** lol she did what

**d1ebymybl4de:** nothing dont worry about it

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** Welcome back everyone! 

**annette!!!:** we missed u!

**d1ebymybl4de:** i got rid of the chat bot too. i let the power get to my head im sorry.

**thotier:** woah, this usually isnt a side of u we get to see lol :0 what happened while we were gone?

**d1ebymybl4de:** i said it was nothing

**MozzarellaMan:** It’s alright, don’t worry about it.

**ingwid:** apology accepted, but keep me in next time u pull something like this again?

**its deduesday:** It’s okay Felix. If you’d like, you can make it up to Ashe and I by gardening with us.

**d1ebymybl4de:** yeah sure. so do i get to hear your new song now annette?

**annette!!!:** yes, yes u can

**d1ebymybl4de:** :)

**a shoe bert:** we kept the group chat in good hands while you guys were gone 😇👍

**MozzarellaMan:** That’s a relief! Thank you guys again. 

**MozzarellaMan:** To make sure an incident like this doesn’t happen a second time, I’ll also be giving Mercedes permissions to invite.

**I’m a healer, but...🔫: ** I’ll do my best!

**thotier:** great! we’re all one big happy family again 😊 i missed u guys so much!

**annette!!!:** hey sylvain! the chat’s been so quiet without u

**a shoe bert:** probably because he couldn’t post his morning anthem everyday

**ingwid:** DONT REMIND HIM

**thotier:** oh yeah! thanks for reminding me ashe!

**thotier:** [Yeah_bySirUsherRaymondIV.mp3]

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

💛🦌  **Claude’s Dream Meme Sweet 16 Beach Bash Birthday Party ** 💛🦌

**thotier:** my fellow golden deeries, i have an announcement to make

**thotier:** i’ve been added back into into the blue lions group chat and decided that it’s time i leave this wonderful, beautiful herd

**thotier:** its been a blast getting to know you guys and i really enjoyed all the memories we’ve made together. i couldn’t have spent my days hanging out with a more amazing group of people

**thotier: ** and who knows, maybe our paths will cross again. life is weird like that you know?

**#1Jeraltfan:** dude are you like dying or something?

**microorganism:** Just go already Sylvain. We’ll see you again at the party and in class.

**hildahilda:** OMG its about time! you dont pay rent in this place smh

**thotier:** WOW RUDE. i was trying to be sentimental because i care about u guys! 

**purple nurple:** Dramatic as always, Sylvain.

**hildahilda:** aww we love you too boo 😘

**sexy arrow:** sylvain. as a close bro of yours, it saddens me to see you go and i’d want you to stay with us. but i also recognize that this is an important journey that you need to take and leaving is always the first and most difficult, momentous step. we respect your decision and give you our unconditional love and support! 

**thotier:** omg...claude...🥺🥺😳😳😳😳

**hildahilda:** wowww ur gonna be extra too claude?

**sexy arrow:** since when am i not?

**hildahilda:** fair

**sexy arrow:** but that aside yeah sylvain we’ve been meaning to kick you out lol

**thotier:** whoops i guess i overstayed my welcome 😂 sorry!

**sexy arrow:** nah its not like that! we sometimes have important, top secret things to discuss that other houses aren’t allowed to sit in on, yknow?

**thotier:** yeah i get it! personal house matters and all that jazz

**thotier:** alrighty then, ill let u guys do whatever it is u golden deer dreamboats gotta do. thanks for the hospitality!

**thotier:** gonna make like a pair of titties and bounce!

**sexy arrow:** bye bro good luck out there! 👋

**hildahilda:** byeeee! it’s been fun! 💋

**hors:** goodbye sylvain…! we’ll miss you!

**microorganism:** Bye Sylvain! Don’t get kicked out of your own group chat again!

**purple nurple:** Farewell Sylvain!

**leonardodaBINCHI:** Goodbye! Thx so much for commissioning me! Hope we’ll still get to talk more about art history in the future :D

**#1Jeraltfan:** bye sylvain! the chat wont be the same without you

**beef broganoff:** see you at the party dude!

**thotier:** 😘😘😘

**> thotier has left the group chat. <**

**sexy arrow:** HE’S FINALLY GONE!

**sexy arrow:** EVERYBODY ROLL CALL! IT’S TIME FOR OUR SECRET MEETING

**#1Jeraltfan:** THE AWESOME!

**beef broganoff:** THE POWER

**hors:** the gay...!

**microorganism:** And the bastard!

**purple nurple: ** The guy with no ears.

**leonardodaBINCHI:** THE FIREPOWER

**hildahilda: ** THE SISSY

**sexy arrow:** AND THE MONEY GUY!

**sexy arrow: ** TOGEEEETHER 

**sexy arrow: ** WEEEEE MAKE 

  
**> sexy arrow changed the group chat name to ** 💛🦌  **THE TROLL SLAYERS ** 💛🦌 **. <**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite the romance themed month and setting of this fic, it's really everyone hanging out and clowning around XD oops


	7. Ring Pops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lads go to Walmart and Caspar overestimates himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **@profisher // Professor Byleth** \- Byleth
> 
> 💙🦁 **Blue Lions** 💙🦁
> 
> **annette!!!** \- Annette  
**a shoe bert** \- Ashe  
**d1ebymybl4de** \- Felix  
**I’m a healer, but...🔫** \- Mercedes  
**ingwid - Ingrid**  
**its deduesday** \- Dedue  
**MozzarellaMan** \- Dimitri  
**thotier** \- Sylvain
> 
> 🖤🦅 **Black Eagles** 🖤🦅
> 
> **Edie** \- Edelgard  
**findingdorythea** \- Dorothea  
**feelthebern** \- Bernadetta  
**ferdielicous** \- Ferdinand  
**hubbert** \- Hubert  
**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG** \- Caspar  
**princesspetra** \- Petra  
**sleepy bitch disease** \- Linhardt
> 
> 💛🦌 **Golden Deer** 💛🦌
> 
> **beef broganoff** \- Raphael  
**hildahilda** \- Hilda  
**hors** \- Marianne  
**leonardodaBINCHI** \- Ignatz  
**microorganism** \- Lysithea  
**purple nurple** \- Lorenz  
**sexy arrow** \- Claude  
**#1Jeraltfan** \- Leonie

😋 **Wilhem I’s Wacky Walmart Wanderers** 😋

**> sexy arrow added thotier, d1ebymybl4de, I AM THE FUCKING STRONG, findingdorythea, ferdielicious, princesspetra, and hildahilda to the group chat <**

**hildahilda:** first! i cast Small Your Dick!   


  
**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** ayy lmao hows everyone doinaaAAAA! my dick!

**findingdorythea:** you took one for the team caspar...thank you for your service 😭

**thotier:** hello my fellow party rockers!

**thotier:** (and ferdinand)

**ferdielicious:** hi

**sexy arrow:** sooo felix kept bugging me to make this so we can keep track of each other and not get lost (to avoid The Incident again)! thanks again for agreeing to help us u guys!

**thotier:** no problem claude! you picked the right people to come help! we’re gonna make this party a total banger!

**ferdielicious:** yeah! and i never thought id see the day hilda would willingly agree to go on errands 

**hildahilda:** hey! maybe i just wanna help some friends out for once smh 🙄

**sexy arrow:** hilda said no but changed her mind when marianne offered to come instead 

**hildahilda:** CLAUDE SHHHH!!!

**princesspetra:** This place is so big! It is my first time in a Walmart, are they all like this?

**hildahilda:** pretty much? walmarts like okay tho i guesssss

**hildahilda:** but ooh petra! dorothea! you guys should hang with me in the makeup aisle like right now! 💖💖

**findingdorythea:** id love nothing more my sweet hilda! i will after i help get some things for the party first

**ferdielicious:** 👉👈 can i come to the makeup aisle with u guys too?

**princesspetra:** Of course you may Ferdinand! But I did not know they sold that at Walmart?

**sexy arrow:** they sell a lot of things here petra! 

**sexy arrow:** and i didnt think you actually liked the makeup at walmart hilda

**hildahilda:** i dont! but its the one place in this crusty store that i hate the least sooo... catch me there instead! 😋

**thotier:** anyone wanna goto the fish section and stare at each other longingly through the tanks like how ppl do in romance movies

**thotier:** and maybe...kiss? 😳

**d1ebymybl4de:** no.

**sexy arrow:** yes!   


  
  
**d1ebymybl4de:** remind me again why you’re with us again? 

**thotier:** cuz i wanna hang with my two bestest bros? 

**sexy arrow:** aw bro 😍

**thotier:** 😍😘

**d1ebymybl4de:** gross

  
  
**d1ebymybl4de:** goddess help me. im stuck in a walmart with a bunch of clowns

**d1ebymybl4de:** *except for petra, ferdinand, and dorothea. you’re only other guys i respect in this group because you can actually get stuff done 

**thotier:** dont ask urself why we’re clowns, fe. ask urself why u keep coming to the circus 🤡🤡🤡

**findingdorythea:** awww, i’m so touched you think i’m responsible! thats like the nicest thing you’ve ever said to us! thanks felix <3

**princesspetra:** Thank you Felix!

**ferdielicious:** us four, we’ll make sure this errand won’t end up a disaster!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** woah woah wait hold up if sylvain gets to come along why can’t i bring linny?

**sexy arrow:** oh! right! you weren’t here on the last walmart run when we had The Incident

  
  
**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** the...the incident???

**findingdorythea:** long story short caspar, linhardt got banned from walmart  
  
  


**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** HE GOT BANNED??? WHY???

**d1ebymybl4de:** we dont talk about it.

**[I AM THE FUCKING STRONG -> sleepy bitch disease]:** linny whats the walmart incident whyd u get banned

**[sleepy bitch disease -> I AM THE FUCKING STRONG]:** got banned for walmart crimes 

**[I AM THE FUCKING STRONG -> sleepy bitch disease]:** WHICH ARE????

**[sleepy bitch disease -> I AM THE FUCKING STRONG]:** committing acts of hubris

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** i tried to ask him just now but he wont tell me what happened either

**sexy arrow:** good! let’s keep it that way! 😊

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** ...

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**[1:17 PM]**

**thotier:** hey claude i just passed by the deli and they’ve got a whole bunch of rotisserie chickens    
  


**thotier:** what if we just buy the whole shelf and eat that for the party? lmao

**sexy arrow:** the food team asked for raw chicken so they can cook it differently buuuuut raph did ask us to get those for a snack

**findingdorythea:** s...snack???

**princesspetra:** The whole entire shelf? :0

**sexy arrow:** yeah for his midday snack

  
  
**sexy arrow:** he’s a big boy and he’s gotta eat!

**d1ebymybl4de:** caspar get your butt out of the cart there’s no room for the chickens if you’re in it

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** awww what! cmon felix i thought you were a fellow warrior bro 😫😫😫

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** look at that kid over there AS BIG AS ME sitting inside a cart full of stuff too. you have no excuse felix! none!

**d1ebymybl4de:** if you get out of the cart i’ll let you look at my sword collection when we get back

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** deal!

**ferdielicious:** are those all...caprisuns and fruit snacks in that kid’s cart?

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** yeah shes chilling hard as fuck bc she knows all of those are for her 

**findingdorythea:** good for her! 

**sexy arrow:** wow thats like lysithea core right there

**thotier:** [lysithea voice] fuit gummy! i want fuit gummy!

**princesspetra:** You sound just like her Sylvain!

  
  
**d1ebymybl4de:** youd better hope she doesn’t find out about this 

**thotier:** don’t worry! she’s not gonna find out lolol

  
  
**[d1ebymybl4de ->** **microorganism]:** [screenshot.png]

**[microorganism -> thotier]:** Your days are numbered, Sylvain.

**[thotier ->** **microorganism]:** 😳 if i buy you your favorite sweets will you spare me?

**[microorganism -> thotier]:** ...Fine.

**thotier:** ALRIGHT WHICH ONE OF YOU SNAKES TATTLED ON ME

**d1ebymybl4de:** no clue 🤔 it’s a mystery

**sexy arrow:** guess we’re planning sylvain’s funeral on top of prepping for the party too!

**thotier:** 😫😫😫 you’re all invited! i want my remains to be scattered at derdriuland, but oh, i dont wanna be cremated though

**ferdielicious:** that’s...an oddly specific and morbid request!

**thotier:** haha nah jk

**thotier:** lysithea says she wants more peach sorbet and cake btw

**hildahilda:** again??? but we just got her some last week! did she already eat them all?

**sexy arrow:** probably! better go get some before she pops up and steals our kneecaps

**thotier:** i can go get it! and ill get some candy for the party too

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**[2:56 PM]**

**hildahilda:** petraaaa! dorotheaaa! i need some advice on makeup! what do you guys think of these?

**findingdorythea:** the pink eyeshadow would look great on you! but oh, this blush doesn’t look like it’ll match? are you getting them for someone else?

**hildahilda:** they’re for marianne! since im here i might as well get something for her anyway <3 normally id get her something really really fancy but she keeps insisting that i don’t spoil her

**princesspetra:** How sweet of you Hilda! I think this one might not work for Marianne though, it seems a little too much on her.

**hildahilda:** oh! thats for ferdinand! 

**ferdielicious:** for...for me? 🥺🥺🥺

**hildahilda:** yes you! come over here so i can see if these swatches look good on you!

**findingdorythea:** welcome to makeup 101 ferdie! you’re gonna learn from the best in all of fodlan!

**princesspetra:** We will make you look like a pizza!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** he’s gonna look like a WHAT now?

**princesspetra:** A pizza! That is what I hear Claude say to himself sometimes. Is it a figure of speech meaning someone looks good?

**ferdielicious:** i’ve never heard of it but i’m thrilled nonetheless! thank you!

**d1ebymybl4de:** claude? why do you call yourself a pizza?

**sexy arrow:** cuz thats what i am

**sexy arrow:** a big, hot, and sexy pizza 🍕

**thotier:** you sure are bro! 😍🍕

**ferdielicious:** [ihavemakeupon.png] how about me? am i a pizza too?

**sexy arrow:** hell yeah get it ferdinand!

**findingdorythea:** you’re finally living up to your username ferdie!

**princesspetra:** You are a ferdielicious pizza!

**hildahilda:** and THAT’S just with the samples they have in the aisle! if i had my whole set with me...it’d be over for all you guys

**sexy arrow:** hildaaaa hook it up with the make up tips!

  
  
**hildahilda:** i would if a certain someone named mr clout von riegan promos my tutorials on fodlantube! xoxo 

**sexy arrow:** ill put you on my thumbnail 😘😘

**thotier:** hey claude, felix, can u guys help me out in the candy aisle? 

**d1ebymybl4de:** whats wrong?

**thotier:** its not an emergency but i need u guys here asap ok?

**sexy arrow:** yeah ok we’re on our way sylvain! caspar you’re in charge of the cart while we’re gone!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** aight i can do that! guess its just me and these 20 rotisserie chickens from here on out huh?

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** this ones gonna be called ferdinand

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** and this one’s ALSO called ferdinand

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** ferdie, ferdie 2

**ferdielicious:** why are they all named after me?

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** cuz they kinda look like u ngl

**ferdielicious:** wh--

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**[3:34 PM]**

  
  
**thotier:** [ilikeditsoiputaringonit.png]

**thotier:** DEARLY BRUHLOVED WE’RE SWAGGERED HERE TODAY TO JOIN THESE THREE BROS IN HOLY MATRIHOMIE 

**d1ebymybl4de:** i can’t believe this

**d1ebymybl4de:** when you said you needed our help i thought you got your fat arm stuck in a shelf or something. not...this

**hildahilda:** are you three wearing… ring pops?

**sexy arrow:** the truth come out! we’ve all been together!

**sexy arrow:** everyone! id like to *~*~officially~*~* introduce you to my boyfriends sylvain and felix! 

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** wait u guys are like, actually together? i thought you were all joking???

  
  
**sexy arrow:** does all this delicious and sugary bling look like a joke to you caspar?

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG: ** but...we never see u guys doing coupley things like AT ALL

  
  
**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** was the whole warrior bro stuff all a facade??

**sexy arrow:** we wanted to be lowkey abt it for a while

**d1ebymybl4de:** u can be a warrior bro and date your fellow warrior bros, caspar

**thotier:** yeah its the same with u and linhardt lmao

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** oh shit u right! well if felix isn’t denying any of this then i guess it’s true after all! 

**hildahilda:** congrats on making it OFFICIAL official! i guess?😂💘💘😍

**findingdorythea:** we been knew! so happy for you three 💝💝

**princesspetra:** That is great news! I am glad it’s working out between you all!  
  
  


**d1ebymybl4de:** i just cant believe you decided to make it official in a fucking walmart

**thotier:** well where else am i gonna get the ring pops?

**d1ebymybl4de:** ...i GUESS

**thotier:** hey dorothea u want some ring pops for you, petra, and edelgard too? i got a bunch left over 😉

**findingdorythea:** aww thanks sylvain! but if i’m going to get rings for my loves, id much rather save up and get them the real thing 💍

**princesspetra:** I would like one anyway! May I have the watermelon flavor?

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**[4:06 PM]**

**findingdorythea:** sylvain? are you still getting cake for lysithea?

  
  
**thotier:** yeah i got it here! check it out 

**thotier:** [cake.png]

**ferdielicious:** ...she’s going to kill you, sylvain. no amount of peach sorbet will deliver you from her fury.

**princesspetra:** What does it say? Cursive handwriting is a little hard for me to read.

**hildahilda: ** “sorry i said that height is a choice” OMGGG 😂😂😂💀💀💀💀

**thotier:** whats wrong with it? im right, you know

**thotier:** i chose to be tall, and she chose to be at nut punching height to terrorize me!

**sexy arrow: ** a king can be any size babe 😤😤😤😤😤 dont come crying to me when she kicks ur ass LMAO

**d1ebymybl4de:** ...im not even going to bother with this one

**thotier:** suuure! so where’s the cart? i dont wanna carry this around all day

  
  
**d1ebymybl4de:** caspar was supposed to look after it but idk where he is now

  
  
**d1ebymybl4de:** @I AM THE FUCKING STRONG where are you?

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** hksdf yfd ;;54

  
  
**sexy arrow:** ??? caspar u good?

  
  
**findingdorythea:** i cant find him anywhere?? he was at the deli last time right? he’s not there anymore!

**ferdielicious:** oh no...it’s just like the incident all over again!

**hildahilda:** ummm guys?

**hildahilda:** petra and i found the cart and his phone on the floor but we don’t see him anywhere

**princesspetra:** We are currently in the toy aisle right now.

**thotier:** what was he doing all the way over there??

  
  
**hildahilda:** ASDGDHGFJFGJHGYRUGFJG WE FOUND HIM 😂😂😂

**sexy arrow:** i hear a bunch of screaming on the other side of the store are you guys okay??

**hildahilda:** CASPAR 

**hildahilda:** HE

**hildahilda:** 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

**princesspetra:** [contained.png] Here he is!

**d1ebymybl4de:** oh my fucking god.

**ferdielicious:** caspar how in seiros did you get stuck inside the bouncy ball cage???

**thotier:** arrested for walmart crimes

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** I CLIMBED UP AND FELL IN

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** LEMME OUT

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** LEMME OUUUUUTTTTTTTTT

**findingdorythea:** KDHFGKDFG STOP RATTLING THE CAGE YOU'LL MAKE IT WORSE

**sexy arrow:** another Incident free walmart run well done, lads! good job! 

**d1ebymybl4de:** caspar cant you just go through the bars? they’re made of elastic aren’t they?

  
  
**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** I CAN’T THEY’RE TOO SMALL AND NOT STRETCHY ENOUGH AND IM BURIED AT THE BOTTOM HELPPPP

  
  
**d1ebymybl4de:** thats what you get for fooling around

**findingdorythea:** now you’re in gay baby jail! you can be banned walmart buddies with linhardt at least!

**princesspetra:** Do not worry Caspar! I can help you out before you get caught.

**thotier:** haha oh shit, look at petra go!

**hildahilda:** you go girl! woo!

**sexy arrow:** queen of climbing!

**sexy arrow:** \--oops nvm i spoke too soon rip 😔

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** NOOOO PETRAAAAA

  
**princesspetra:** Can someone please help me? I fell in too… 😰

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has become...self indulgent... ghdkhgsdf


	8. Flower Power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> According to all known laws of aviation...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **@profisher // Professor Byleth** \- Byleth
> 
> 💙🦁 **Blue Lions** 💙🦁
> 
> **annette!!!** \- Annette  
**a shoe bert** \- Ashe  
**d1ebymybl4de** \- Felix  
**I’m a healer, but...🔫** \- Mercedes  
**ingwid - Ingrid**  
**its deduesday** \- Dedue  
**MozzarellaMan** \- Dimitri  
**thotier** \- Sylvain
> 
> 🖤🦅 **Black Eagles** 🖤🦅
> 
> **Edie** \- Edelgard  
**findingdorythea** \- Dorothea  
**feelthebern** \- Bernadetta  
**ferdielicous** \- Ferdinand  
**hubbert** \- Hubert  
**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG** \- Caspar  
**princesspetra** \- Petra  
**sleepy bitch disease** \- Linhardt
> 
> 💛🦌 **Golden Deer** 💛🦌
> 
> **beef broganoff** \- Raphael  
**hildahilda** \- Hilda  
**hors** \- Marianne  
**leonardodaBINCHI** \- Ignatz  
**microorganism** \- Lysithea  
**purple nurple** \- Lorenz  
**sexy arrow** \- Claude  
**#1Jeraltfan** \- Leonie

🌸🌼🌹 **bro 😳 we are picking flowers together...dont stop now bro **🌸🌼🌹

**thotier:** the persob below me is gay

**thotier:** person*

**thotier:** oh fuck wAIT

**d1ebymybl4de: **congrats, you played yourself

**thotier:** oh yeah? Well the person above me is gay

**d1ebymybl4de: **...

**d1ebymybl4de:** idk why im even here when i moved to setup. i shouldnt even be in this group chat bye

**> d1ebymybl4de left the group chat. <**

**thotier:** NOOOOOOOOOO! FELIX IM SORRY COME BACK

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** aw cheer up sylvain! you still got your other bros with you here!

**thotier:** yeah but you got linhardt with you at least! and dorothea and petra have each other too! im separated from both of my boyfriends! ohhh the agony! 😫😫😫😭😭

**princesspetra:** You will only be separated for a little while though! No need to worry!

**thotier:** 75897689574 years have passed. the sleep paralysis demons sitting on my chest suffocating me look kind of like claude and felix but it’s just not the same 😩

**MozzarellaMan:** You have night terrors too, Sylvain?

**thotier:** haha whatttt no i dont! pfft lol im just lonely rn

**MozzarellaMan:** Oh. Well, if it makes you feel any better Sylvain, I’m here with you and still single.

**findingdorythea:** lol “single” 😂

**thotier:** dont worry dimitri! with a little nudge in the right direction, that might change soon 😏

**MozzarellaMan:** What?

**thotier:** what

**hors:** imm here too without hilda, sylvain! if you want...we can keep you company while we pick flowers!

**thotier:** oh id love to marianne! we can talk about how great our boyfriends and girlfriend are

**thotier:** and maybe we can give dimitri some dating tips? 😉

**MozzarellaMan:** I changed my mind, I think I’m going to join Caspar and Linhardt instead.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** oh? marianne? u know about dating?

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** I DONT MEAN THAT IN A BAD WAY OR ANYTHING ITS JUST u usually keep to yourself a lot!

**findingdorythea:** youd be surprised caspar! she was the one who asked hilda out first

**hors:** oh no, you’re giving me too much credit…! i just invited her to tea and we started to spend more time with each other... 

**thotier:** and then the rest was history! there isn’t a more iconic duo than our favorite bubblegum-cotton candy couple!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** dimitri and cheese

**MozzarellaMan:** Professor Manuela and alcohol?

**thotier:** very close contenders! but nope!

**hors:** thank you sylvain...you’re too nice to me!

**findingdorythea:** who wouldn’t be nice to a sweetie like you, marianne? youve got hilda to beat up anyone who isn’t anyways!

**princesspetra:** She is such a great fighter! Even if she acts lazy a lot. I wonder if it is just a facade…

**hors:** she really is strong! umm, she tells me just prefers to save her energy a lot!

**thotier:** thats a funny way of saying lazy 😂

**MozzarellaMan:** And what about you, Sylvain? How did you manage to ask out Felix and Claude?

**thotier:** oh you know! 

**thotier:** we’ve been together for a while actually! when i asked them out the first time we had to make it work between all three of us, and then the other day i did it again with ring pops at walmart and claude officially announced it!

**MozzarellaMan:** In a Walmart?

**thotier:** yeah it was in a walmart

**MozzarellaMan:** Congrats, then! I’m happy for you three!

**hors:** oh…! thats so romantic! i should have done the same with hilda

**thotier:** i still have some leftover ring pops if u want some marianne!

**findingdorythea:** 😂😂😂 so where’s the wedding going to be at sylvain? a target? costco?

**thotier:** dont be ridiculous dorothea! we’re men of TASTE

**thotier:** we’re gonna have it at a 7 eleven 

**thotier:** or at a denny’s parking lot. we haven’t decided yet BUT YOU’RE ALL INVITED!

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**[1:07 PM]**

**MozzarellaMan:** Caspar, can you please wake up Linhardt so we can finish picking all of these flowers?

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** he already picked a whole bunch of them though! look at that huuuuge mountain of flowers under him! 

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** let my sleepy king rest!

**MozzarellaMan:** He picked three handfuls of flowers, said he was going to take a quick power nap an hour and a half ago, and promptly passed out on top of the flower pile that _ we all made collectively _.

**hors:** he looks so peaceful sleeping there…as he always does when he naps...

**MozzarellaMan:** Is there a reason why he’s always sleeping? Or at least, whenever I see him, he always seems to be dozing off.

**thotier:** he’s friends with caspar that’s all u need to know dimitri

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** hes like a cat yknow? cats sleep for a long time and then the 1 hr they wake up they zoom around like crazy 😹

**princesspetra:** Does Linhardt “zoom” around when he is awake too?

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** well, no, but he shares that simple zest for life just like any other cat and does other stuff i guess

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** like research and helping me train! nerd stuff takes a lot out of you, you know?

**findingdorythea:** you’re probably better off letting him sleep, dimitri. otherwise he’ll be too tired and sleep the whole party away instead!

**princesspetra:** Yes! He has been working very hard on his studies lately so now he is just catching up on rest.

**MozzarellaMan:** Ah, I see.

**thotier:** dimitri, dude, you’re crushing the flowers in your hands

**MozzarellaMan:** Sorry, I’m just really excited for the party is all!

**MozzarellaMan:** I guess even with some practice, I’m still prone to breaking things when I get emotional.

**hors:** its not a problem at all dimitri... it happens to the best of us! don’t worry…!

**findingdorythea:** we can still use the flowers! the stalks arent damaged that badly

**MozzarellaMan:** Oh thank Goddess! That’s a relief to hear, but after a bit of thinking, I think I might ask Edelgard to swap jobs with me. I’m sure my strength will be a lot more useful over at setup.

**thotier:** awww okay! say hi to felix for me!

**MozzarellaMan:** I see her coming over now! Goodbye everyone!

**> MozzarellaMan added Edie to the group chat. <**

**> MozzarellaMan left the group chat. <**

  
  
**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** heyyy edelgard!

**thotier:** hi edelgard!

  
  
**princesspetra:** Hello Edelgard!

  
  
**findingdorythea:** hi edie!

**hors:** hello edelgard…!

**Edie:** Hello!

**Edie:** Um...Why is Linhardt buried in flowers?

**thotier:** he seemed cold and we didnt have anything to cover him with

**Edie:** It looks like an entire mountain’s been put right onto him.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** he used to be on the top of it actually! and a mountain of flowers is what he deserves!

**Edie:** Honestly? You’re right.

**findingdorythea:** its linhardt appreciation hours!

**princesspetra:** Is it not always Linhardt appreciation hours, though?

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** petra u absolute genius!!!!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** linhardt appreciation hours are all day, everyday. 😤😤

**thotier:** uh guys? id hate to interrupt linhardt appreciation hours but why do i hear a ton of buzzing?

**thotier:** and whats that huge dark swarm coming towards us?

**findingdorythea:** oh my god those are

**findingdorythea:** those are BEES

**hors:** i...i think they’re looking for a new place to make a hhive…

**Edie:** It doesn’t look like they’ll stay here for long, let’s just move inside and wait for them to leave.

**princesspetra:** Wait! But Linhardt is still under the pile!

**thotier:** oh fuck

**thotier:** its ok hes asleep! as long as he doesnt smack them around in his sleep or something he’ll be fine!

**thotier:** (hopefully)

**Edie:** No one’s allergic to bees right?

**sleepy bitch disease:** i think i am, actually

  
  
**sleepy bitch disease:** i woke up because i got stung can someone take me to the infirmar

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** OH GODDESS OH FUCK DONT WORRY LINNY I’LL SAVE YOU

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** WAIT HOW ARE YOU WALKING THROUGH AN ANGRY BEE CLOUD SO CALMLY??

**findingdorythea:** caspar dont swat at the bees you’ll make them angry and sting more!

**thotier:** bees are good bro! 

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** OH shit fuck my bad! sorry little bee bros 😔

**princesspetra:** Wow, look at Caspar go!

**hors:** and linhardt too..!

**Edie:** Hurry inside you guys! Let’s get these two to the infirmary ASAP.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**[2:14 PM]**

**hors:** how’re you feeling linhardt? thank goddess we got you to the infirmary in time...

**sleepy bitch disease:** im a snail and the goddess has salted me

**princesspetra:** ???

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** he means he’s fine!

**Edie:** Linhardt, why didn’t you tell us you were allergic to bees? We wouldn’t have put you on flower duty if we knew.

**sleepy bitch disease: **i didnt know either. it was only until my whole body started rejecting itself that i realized i was having a reaction

**sleepy bitch disease:** sorry for worrying you guys, and im sorry you got stung a few times because of me, caspar

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** aw dont sweat it linny! its gonna take a whole lot more than that to take me down!

**findingdorythea:** we’re just glad you guys are ok! 💕💕💕💕

**thotier:** [bees.mp4] hey! i got a vid of u guys going thru the swarm like badasses 😂😂😂

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** holy fuck WE LOOK EPIC THANKS BRO

**Edie:** I’m glad that you’re not hurt, Linhardt. As for everyone else, we’ll need to double check and make sure there aren’t any bees in the flowers for when we bring them to the party.

**thotier:** idk u guys i think it’ll be a fun party surprise :)

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** NO! LINHARDT’S ALLERGIC TO BEES i dont want him to get stung again!

**sleepy bitch disease:** its fine, ill wear a beekeeper suit and become invincible

**princesspetra:** But would that not give away the fact that the bees are in the flowers?

**sleepy bitch disease:** dont worry about it. they wont know what hit them

**Edie:** Guys, I would love to release a bunch of bees into a party and be chaotic, but as a house leader I have to firmly say no to this.

**Edie:** (But we can give a bouquet of bee filled flowers to Rhea, though.)

**sleepy bitch disease:** thats fine by me

**thotier:** ughh im pretty sure a bee brushed against my lip while i was heading back grossss 😫 

**thotier:** 😳 and yet i still cant stop thinking abt them…

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** who??? the bee???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You could say Linhardt sleeping like a dead log underneath a pile of flowers could be called a... *puts on sunglasses* FUNERAL OF FLOWERS!


	9. *Chef's Kiss*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The students prepare food for the celebration!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **@profisher // Professor Byleth** \- Byleth
> 
> 💙🦁 **Blue Lions** 💙🦁
> 
> **annette!!!** \- Annette  
**a shoe bert** \- Ashe  
**d1ebymybl4de** \- Felix  
**I’m a healer, but...🔫** \- Mercedes  
**ingwid - Ingrid**  
**its deduesday** \- Dedue  
**MozzarellaMan** \- Dimitri  
**thotier** \- Sylvain
> 
> 🖤🦅 **Black Eagles** 🖤🦅
> 
> **Edie** \- Edelgard  
**findingdorythea** \- Dorothea  
**feelthebern** \- Bernadetta  
**ferdielicous** \- Ferdinand  
**hubbert** \- Hubert  
**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG** \- Caspar  
**princesspetra** \- Petra  
**sleepy bitch disease** \- Linhardt
> 
> 💛🦌 **Golden Deer** 💛🦌
> 
> **beef broganoff** \- Raphael  
**hildahilda** \- Hilda  
**hors** \- Marianne  
**leonardodaBINCHI** \- Ignatz  
**microorganism** \- Lysithea  
**purple nurple** \- Lorenz  
**sexy arrow** \- Claude  
**#1Jeraltfan** \- Leonie

**🍞 Let’s Get This Bread! 🍞**

**sexy arrow:** alright u guys lets get cookin! ratatouille hrs start now!

**microorganism:** You mean like...the movie? 

**sexy arrow:** yeah!

**a shoe bert:** awesome! but, uh, what’re we making though?

  
  
**ingwid:** the walmart gang brought us a bunch of chicken...so i guess we’ll be making chicken!

**its deduesday:** If we’re using the chicken, I think it would be a good idea to make foods that are easy to eat at a party, such as wings.

**a shoe bert:** great idea dedue! so wings...and maybe some popcorn chicken? with duscurian spices!!!

**beef broganoff:** YEAHH! and how about chicken tacos or pizza? and chicken pot pie!

**annette!!!:** uhh guys, we have other stuff here besides chicken! dont forget!!

**ingwid:** that’s right! we have...uhhh, wait what are these things here exactly?

**sexy arrow:** i...ingrid...thats seasoning

**ingwid:** oh! ok cool we have seasoning!

**microorganism:** All these appetizers and main courses, but where’s the dessert? We should also make some sweet things! 

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** You’re right Lysithea! I know a very good cake recipe that I think everyone will really like :)

**annette!!!:** cake is good! but let’s not forget about cupcakes! oooh or maybe cookies? 

**annette!!!:** OH. cupcakes WITH cookies!!

**beef broganoff:** why dont we just make all of that? :DDD

**sexy arrow:** oookay! it sounds like everyone’s got different ideas on what to make for the party but that might be too much! so how about this:

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** We have an intense, high stakes cooking competition where Claude pretends to be THE esteemed chef Gordon Ramsay who also happens to be the judge, jury, and executioner. I’m the gay French rat trying to make it out here in the dog eat dog (rat eat rat?) food industry and I can’t afford to lose because I’ll end up having to go back to my rat colony unable to continue pursuing my culinary passion because no one at home understands the art nor do they appreciate the sense of taste, and the thought of my rat father (who is the leader of the rat colony) being right all along is too much to bear so I’ll end up running away for good and I’ll meet another gay rat who’s a kleptomaniac and we live a life on the edge where she swipes ingredients for me and I cook them up, and even though it’s a harder life than it was when I lived with the colony I’m happy because I still get to indulge in my passion and be with the rodent of my dreams, but all of this is only assuming that I lose because Claude didn’t like my pheasant-roast after I accidentally messed up reducing the berry sauce! 

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** And then the final winner of the competition will have their dishes made for the party :D

**sexy arrow:** uhhh... i was just gonna suggest a 3 course thing each covered by 2-3 people and have you guys choose amongst yourselves to make like 8-9 dishes total but that’s WAY more fun holy shit!

**sexy arrow:** but im not sure we’ll have enough time or enough ingredients to host a competition like that though, sorry mercedes 😔

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** It’s alright Claude! It was only a suggestion! 😊

**a shoe bert:** we could probably try to have a small contest among each other though, since we’re going to team up!

**ingwid:** i just finished reading that monster paragraph and hello???? mercedes???

**ingwid:** this is a lot to unpack

**beef broganoff:** i dont remember all of that being in the movie but sweet! im down!

**microorganism:** ...Can I be the gay French rat?

**annette!!!:** but mercie already said she was gonna be the rat!

**its deduesday:** The rat’s name is Remy and he is a very admired world class chef. Please give him the respect he deserves.

**annette!!!:** oh!! im sorry remy!

**sexy arrow:** 😂😂😂 so how do you guys wanna break this all up? ill let you all help plan this out!

**its deduesday:** Ashe and I will take care of appetizers.

**annette!!!:** mercie lysithea and i can make desserts!

**beef broganoff:** claude! you, me, and ingrid can take on the big stuff!

**ingwid:** since ashe and dedue are short a person, i can help them out too! 

**a shoe bert:** thanks ingrid! we’ll teach you how to make some really good food!

**sexy arrow:** cool cool! now that everyone’s settled, lets split up these chickens and start cookin!

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**[1:23 PM]**

**sexy arrow:** time to check in with everyone! how’re you guys doing?

**a shoe bert:** dedue and i are teaching ingrid how to make wings and popcorn chicken!

**ingwid:** is this too much seasoning? i can barely see any of the chicken! i think i put in too much...

**its deduesday:** It’s the perfect amount, Ingrid, don’t worry about it.

**its deduesday:** There’s no such thing as too much seasoning when you use spices from Duscur.

**sexy arrow:** haha, my parents say the same thing with almyran seasoning! cant get enough of that stuff 😋😋😋

**sexy arrow:** 🤝

**its deduesday:** 🤝

**a shoe bert:** how do you usually eat your chicken, ingrid?

**ingwid:** i’ve always had chicken with salt and pepper… 

**beef broganoff:** that’s...really sad! no wonder you guys eat beans on toast all day! 😰

**microorganism:** I know, right? Imagine eating beans on toast or or chicken with salt all day… I wouldn’t be able to stand it!

**annette!!!:** yeahhh >_> you get sick of it after a while! but it’s a reliable staple, so...

**ingwid:** we usually dont get a lot of spices in galatea 😖

**ingwid:** but this smells really amazing and it’s not even done yet! i cant wait to try these out with you guys 🤤

**its deduesday:** I hope it’ll be to your liking then. Consider this an introduction to Duscurian cuisine :)

**a shoe bert:** you guys have had dedue’s cooking before haven’t you? its the beeeest!

**ingwid:** ive had it before and it’s awesome! i dont think ive had any duscurian food though...so im ready to get my mind b l o w n

**beef broganoff:** oh! remember the last soup time we had together in the kitchens? im pretty sure dedue was the one who made it, right?

**its deduesday:** Yes, I made the soup that time.

**beef broganoff:** DUDE! your soup was 😩👌👏🙌🙏 !!!!

**annette!!!:** dedue your cooking is always *chefs kiss* !

**sexy arrow:** shittt raphael we gotta amp up our game! we have a god chef in the kitchen and we need to impress him!

**its deduesday:** I’m flattered you all think that, thank you :D

**microorganism:** Good thing we’re doing desserts! We don’t have to worry about any of that!

**its deduesday:** I know how to bake as well. 

**microorganism:** Uh oh.   
  


**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**[2:19 PM]**

**sexy arrow:** hey raph, ingrid, get this:

**sexy arrow:** what if we made the food... but they’re raphael size

**ingwid:** like, literally or figuratively? 

**its deduesday:** Knowing Claude, it’s probably literally.

**sexy arrow:** just think about it! we only have to make like, one chicken nugget or something, but it’s fucking GIGANTIC

**sexy arrow:** then we could feed everyone at the party and still have leftovers for a couple of days that way!

**beef broganoff:** hell yeah im down! i can pose to help u guys shape it to look like me! 💪😤

**ingwid:** why nuggets though? not that im complaining, but thats more of an appetizer thing isnt it? ashe and dedue are already making stuff for that

**sexy arrow:** in terms of largeness, its the most feasible thing to make! and if its a huge size it’s technically not an appetizer anymore

**annette!!!:** gourmet chicken nuggets are a thing u know!

**a shoe bert:** anything can be made gourmet if you put a little extra work into it! i made “gourmet” insta ramen the other day by adding an egg and dried seaweed to it! 

**its deduesday:** And how was it?

**a shoe bert:** delicious!

**ingwid:** huh...guess i cant argue with that. nuggets it is!

**a shoe bert:** er, bad news claude… i dont think theres enough chicken to go around to make a raphael sized nugget 

**a shoe bert:** internet says that the worlds biggests chicken nugget is about 50 pounds and roughly 2 x 3 feet only

**beef broganoff:** i’m much bigger than that!

**a shoe bert:** and there’s like, maybe 3 more chickens no one’s using that you guys can have

**sexy arrow:** whatttt! fine, we’ll just have to make do

**sexy arrow:** if we dont count raphael’s appetite thatll make like 3 huuuuge nuggets, and then we cut ‘em into 8 big pieces that everyone can share!

**sexy arrow:** or... we could just lump them together and sculpt it into raphael’s head LOL

**ingwid:** that...sounds fun, actually!

**beef broganoff:** let’s do it! i can help with the face, i know it the best after all :D

**a shoe bert:** ...

**a shoe bert:** oh wow you guys are actually making it :0

  
  
**microorganism:** I’m...I’m impressed by the amount of detail there is. You’ve got his face spot on and everything. Ignatz would be proud.

**beef broganoff:** 😆😆😆 it’s a second me! 

**its deduesday:** The resemblance is uncanny. Nice presentation you three.

**sexy arrow:** a compliment from THE chef god dedue! thank u we’re so honored 🥺

**sexy arrow:** now i just gotta impress my boyfriends with all this meat 😉

**microorganism:** Wowwwww Claude.

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** Eating this is going to be so fun! I can’t wait to tear your head apart like a zombie, Raphael!

  
  
**beef broganoff:** haha thanks! 😅 me too!

**ingwid:** lets just hope this thing will cook through all the way! don’t want it to be raw in the center and have us get salvadore monella

**a shoe bert:** who’s salvadore monella?

**ingwid:** salmonella* sorry! autocorrect 😅

**a shoe bert:** what kind of phone autocorrects salmonella to salvadore monella?

**ingwid:** my phone, ok? >_>

**sexy arrow:** i mean... if it’s raw on the inside it’ll just be like the real deal at least!

**annette!!!:** h…huh???

**sexy arrow:** aren’t all living things technically raw? we’re not cooked or anything

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** That’s one way to think about it!

**a shoe bert:** yeah! and our bones are wet

**its deduesday:** A terrifying thought. Thank you Ashe.

**microorganism:** ...As much as I’d love to make horrifying takes about the human body, can we not do that while we’re working on food? 😖

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**[4:45 PM]**

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** If any of you guys have an extra towel, could you please lend it to us? 

**a shoe bert:** sure thing mercedes! ill--

**a shoe bert:** ARE YOU GUYS OKAY???

**sexy arrow:** ???

**sexy arrow:** i leave for three seconds to check on the other groups and now there’s smoke everywhere??? what just happened?   


**annette!!!:** nothing!!! i just forgot to check on my caramel and it burned up! i can fix this i swear!!!!

**its deduesday:** Are you three alright?

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** We’re fine, we’re fine! No one got hurt!

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** Except for Annette’s caramel...and perhaps the pot it was in too...

**ingwid:** annette...a whole column of fire erupted from your pot 😰

**beef broganoff:** yeah, i thought we were in ailell for a sec. it got THAT hot in the kitchen!

**sexy arrow:** how do you burn caramel THAT badly annette?

**annette!!!:** i dont knooowwww! 😭 i said i forgot about it!

**beef brogranoff:** you scared lysithea too! shes hiding under the table and wont come out now!

**microorganism:** I’m NOT scared! I was just cautious of getting burned!

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** Can we please get that towel now? We need it to smother out Annette’s fire thanks 😊

**ingwid:** ashe and i are getting a bunch of towels for you guys!

**microorganism:** H...how can u be so happy about this Mercedes??

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** I’m used to this because I cook with Annette so much 😊

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** This is actually an improvement! It’s the only accident we’ve had so far! 

**its deduesday:** Good job Annette :D But please be more mindful of the stove next time.

**annette!!!:** i will! thanks u guys!

**annette!!!:** but i dont think my caramel cupcakes are gonna be ready on time though! 😭😭😭

**its deduesday:** Mercedes and I can help you fix your dessert, don’t worry :)

**annette!!!:** 💙💙💙😄😄😄

**microorganism:** It’s okay Annette! We still have my cookies and Mercedes’ cake! They’ll buy you extra time to get your cupcakes ready.

**sexy arrow:** oh man these cookies look tasty af lysithea! mind if i grab one before the party and be a taste tester?

**microorganism:** I’ll allow it. Mercedes helped me and I’m pretty proud of how these turned out, so they  _ should _ be good!

**microorganism:** Well? What do you think?

**sexy arrow:** it...has a rlly interesting taste thats for sure! 

**sexy arrow:** ive never had a salty cookie before

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** Oh? That can’t be right :0

**microorganism:** Wait what? These are snickerdoodle cookies! They’re supposed to be sweet and cinnamon-y and scrumptious!

**its deduesday:** Lysithea, you may have used salt in place of sugar by accident.

**microorganism:** Oh nooo! I must’ve gotten their jars mixed up!

**microorganism:** My cookies are ruined! 😭

**sexy arrow:** nah they’re not ruined lysithea! you could...hmm…

**sexy arrow:** oh! you could just say they’re savory biscuits! if you think about them that way, these are actually pretty tasty 😋

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** That’s a great way to look at it Claude! There’s no such thing as an accident in the kitchen!

**ingwid:** annette’s fire*

**annette!!!:** hey!

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** Correction: There’s no such thing as an accident when your food doesn’t turn out the way you wanted it to be* 😊

**microorganism:** I guess you’re right. There’s no use getting upset over it now!

**a shoe bert:** hopefully no one’s gonna decide to eat the sweets first during the party! 

**beef broganoff:** lysithea would!

**microorganism:** Yeah honestly? I would.

**sexy arrow:** 😂 since everything else is done, let’s take these out to the classroom and see if the other guys are done setting everything up! 

**sexy arrow:** hope ur cupcakes turn out well the second time annette!

**annette!!!:** thanks! @_@

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: IDK anything about cooking or baking lol


	10. Milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The students set up and finally have some fun at the party!
> 
> (This is a combined chapter, mind the length!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **@profisher // Professor Byleth** \- Byleth
> 
> 💙🦁 **Blue Lions** 💙🦁
> 
> **annette!!!** \- Annette  
**a shoe bert** \- Ashe  
**d1ebymybl4de** \- Felix  
**I’m a healer, but...🔫** \- Mercedes  
**ingwid - Ingrid**  
**its deduesday** \- Dedue  
**MozzarellaMan** \- Dimitri  
**thotier** \- Sylvain
> 
> 🖤🦅 **Black Eagles** 🖤🦅
> 
> **Edie** \- Edelgard  
**findingdorythea** \- Dorothea  
**feelthebern** \- Bernadetta  
**ferdielicous** \- Ferdinand  
**hubbert** \- Hubert  
**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG** \- Caspar  
**princesspetra** \- Petra  
**sleepy bitch disease** \- Linhardt
> 
> 💛🦌 **Golden Deer** 💛🦌
> 
> **beef broganoff** \- Raphael  
**hildahilda** \- Hilda  
**hors** \- Marianne  
**leonardodaBINCHI** \- Ignatz  
**microorganism** \- Lysithea  
**purple nurple** \- Lorenz  
**sexy arrow** \- Claude  
**#1Jeraltfan** \- Leonie

💪😤  **stronk ** 💪😤

**> hildahilda added d1ebymybl4de and MozzarellaMan to the groupchat <**

**d1ebymybl4de:** hey

**MozzarellaMan:** Hello everyone!

**#1Jeraltfan:** hey you two! we’re just about to set up the place!

**#1Jeraltfan:** we would’ve started sooner but lorenz and ferdinand are arguing about decorations

**leonardodaBINCHI:** Decorations and aesthetic! Bernadetta and I are going to work on creating banners and such once the theme gets decided.

**MozzarellaMan:** Great! Looks like we’re right on time, then.

**d1ebymybl4de:** isnt aesthetic the thing that makes ppl sleep during surgery?

**hubbert:** That would be anesthetic.

**d1ebymybl4de:** oh

**d1ebymybl4de:** are ppl rlly going to get hung up over these sort of things at a school party? 

**#1Jeraltfan:** gonna have to agree with felix here. i get it if it’s some fun streamers and banners and all that, but some of you guys are making it sound like we’re gonna renovate a whole house 😂

**purple nurple:** A party needs to have the appropriate atmosphere in order to get everyone into the spirit!

**ferdielicious:** You wouldn’t want to attend a party in a boring, drab place would you Felix? Like a dusty basement, for example.

**d1ebymybl4de:** idk a basement party sounds kind of fun

**hildahilda:** basement parties huh? well you guys didn’t hear this from me... but the ashen wolves host raves under the school once a month 

**#1Jeraltfan:** seriously??? that explains why my room sometimes shakes randomly in the middle of the night 

**purple nurple:** But do they decorate the place underground? I can’t imagine a rave being fun if the venue is just some musty, decrepit catacomb. 

**hildahilda:** idk! you’d have to ask linhardt and edelgard they go to their raves sometimes. me and claude are gonna go to the next one tho if you wanna come along lorenz!

**leonardodaBINCHI:** I mean...I once was in a mosh pit at a Denny’s, so...you’d be surprised by where people are willing to have fun.

**#1Jeraltfan:** haha really ignatz? 😂 i didnt think you’d be into that sort of thing 

**ferdielicious:** ??? This a lot of new and unexpected information to take at once.

**ferdielicious:** Which do we address first? The Ashen Wolves’ raves, Linhardt and Edelgard attending these raves, or Ignatz in a Denny’s mosh pit?

**leonardodaBINCHI:** I was eating there with Raphael when a crowd of party people came in and...yeah. ^-^;

**hubbert:** Edelgard wanted to see where Linhardt was going one night.

**ferdielicious:** And...and you didn’t invite me? 😔

**hubbert:** I didn’t want to disturb your rest. Plus, I only came as a chaperone.

**hubbert:** The next time Lady Edelgard decides to go, I will let you know.

**ferdielicious:** Thank you Hubert! 😊

**purple nurple:** Alright, now that we’ve got all of that taken care of, we ought to get back to the task at hand. We can discuss these things at a later time!

**MozzarellaMan:** You’re absolutely right Lorenz, let’s focus on the practical aspects of setting up first and foremost.

**MozzarellaMan:** The couch and beanbags ought to be enough, and let’s push those tables over there together for food and another for garlands.

**hubbert:** I suggest that we arrange the seating in groups or circles.

**MozzarellaMan:** That’ll work!

**#1Jeraltfan:** hilda are you gonna help us move the stuff around or what?

**hildahilda:** i totally would! but like... i sprained my wrist the other day 😫 maybe i can get raphael to come help instead? he’s got extra muscle to spare

**d1ebymybl4de:** you still have your other arm and legs don’t you? 

**#1Jeraltfan:** he’s right you know

**#1Jeraltfan:** we see u texting marianne, ur not slick 😂😂

**hildahilda:** fiiine 🙄😂 lemme just give her some more hearts and ill be done!

**MozzarellaMan:** Wait a moment... I feel like we’re missing someone.

**MozzarellaMan:** Is Bernadetta here? 

**ferdielicious:** Yes! She’s taking a break in that fort she made over there.

**d1ebymybl4de:** she made that? impressive

**hubbert: ** @feelthebern Bernadetta, you’re needed in the group chat.

**feelthebern:** hi!!! oh ummm thanks felix ghdkfhg 

**#1Jeraltfan:** hey bernie! u wanna help us move some stuff around?

**feelthebern:** im supposed to be helping ignatz with the banners though??

**leonardodaBINCHI:** It’s ok Bernadetta, we’re not doing that just yet!

**feelthebern:** oh ok!!! then ill just...uhh

**feelthebern:** ill take down my fort and help!

**purple nurple:** Bernadetta, be mindful of the tables above your head--

**feelthebern:** AHHHH IM SO SORRY!!! ARE YOU OK??

**leonardodaBINCHI:** Are...are you asking Dimitri or the table? 0_0

**feelthebern:** H

**MozzarellaMan:** I’m fine! There’s no need to worry about me.

**ferdielicious:** ...How are you just standing there completely unscathed?

**hildahilda:** omg this poor table 😂 it collided with his head and broke into two instead! 😂😂😂

**MozzarellaMan:** Ah...yes, that happens sometimes.

**purple nurple:** You breaking things because you’re indestructible and have god-like strength, or tables dropping onto your head?

**MozzarellaMan:** Both, actually!

**d1ebymybl4de:** he has a thick skull dont worry abt him 

**d1ebymybl4de:** one time when we were kids he threw a tantrum and slammed a hole through the wall with his head

**leonardodaBINCHI:** Oh goddess...

**MozzarellaMan:** Felix! Why would you tell them that!?

**d1ebymybl4de:** why not? 

**d1ebymybl4de:** the wall was like 2 feet thick and he was 7 years old. it took me, glenn, sylvain, ingrid, and edelgard to pull him out of there

**#1Jeraltfan:** wowwww

**hubbert:** I just messaged Edelgard and she confirmed this was true.

**MozzarellaMan:** Yes! I’m very strong! Now that’s enough about me. All we have left is to work on the decorations.

**ferdielicious:** Yes! Lorenz and I were debating about that just now. We should go for a spring-summer kind of look since we’re now in the warmer season! 

**purple nurple:** I disagree. Even though it’s summer, you’ve forgotten that it’s a rainy month. I think we should incorporate a sense of coziness and closeness in contrast to extroversion. 

**leonardodaBINCHI:** Um...

**ferdielicious:** But wouldn’t that make everyone more sleepy and subdued? We’re already inside anyways and this is a happy celebration! There should be lots of light and beautiful flowers everywhere to create an uplifting, joyful mood!   
  


**purple nurple:** Flowers are a given, yes, but I firmly stand by my belief that something visually representing a tight knit community would be ideal.

**leonardodaBINCHI:** Guys?

**purple nurple:** Garland moon is all about showing our appreciation to our loved ones, so this would really emphasize that!

**hildahilda:** too many big words! give us the tldr lorenz 🙄

**ferdielicious:** Hubert! What do you think?

**hubbert:** I like your idea much better.

**ferdielicious: ** thank you hubert! 😊

**purple nurple:** That isn’t fair. You and Hubert are together, of course he’s going to agree with you!

**feelthebern:** ummm...hhello?

**#1Jeraltfan:** why dont we just have a vote? 

**MozzarellaMan:** There’s an odd number of us so... one of us will be a tiebreaker in case we can’t decide as a group.

**d1ebymybl4de:** i vote...that we let ferdinand and lorenz duke it out with a fistfight

**d1ebymybl4de:** we put them in a ring of desks. two go in, one comes out

**#1Jeraltfan:** ok...now THATS something i can get behind! hope u guys know ur fisticuffs!

**hildahilda:** we put one pair of scissors in the center, and the fight ends when one person gets his beautiful long locks chopped off! 😈✂

**ferdielicious:** NO

**purple nurple:** NO

**MozzarellaMan:** No fighting in the classrooms! We’ll get our party privileges revoked!

**leonardodaBINCHI:** GUYS!!!

**leonardodaBINCHI:** Why don’t we let the actual artists have a say in the matter too? >_<

**feelthebern:** ^^^ ;-;

**ferdielicious: ** Oh! I’m so sorry Ignatz and Bernadetta!

**purple nurple:** Apologies, we got too carried away. You two are the ones who will be making the banners and such, so it should ultimately be your choice. 

**leonardodaBINCHI:** It’s ok! 

**leonardodaBINCHI:** But you guys do realize I’m gonna snap one day right? ^-^

**feelthebern:** hhH

**feelthebern:** ...mme too

**hubbert:** I encourage you both to do so, honestly.

**d1ebymybl4de:** 👀

**#1Jeraltfan:** 👀

**hildahilda:** 👀

**MozarrellaMan:** 👀

**ferdielicious:** We’re sorry again 😔 We’ll help you set them up after you finish! It’s the least we can do after being so inconsiderate.

**purple nurple:** ...Since you’re both the ones directing, how are you two going about decorating it?

**feelthebern:** oh, umm... we were going to incorporate both of your ideas…!! if thats ok!!

**leonardodaBINCHI:** Of course it’s okay Bernadetta! Here, why don’t you help the guys by pointing to where the streamers should go while I start on the banners first?

**feelthebern:** umm!! ok! i can...i can do that! i think…

**hildahilda:** you’ll do great bernie! we’re under your command now! 

**MozzarellaMan:** Is that a sketch of what you’re planning to do? It looks great so far!

**leonardodaBINCHI:** It is, thx! ^-^

**d1ebymybl4de:** do you take commissions

**leonardodaBINCHI:** It would depend on the request but I can DM you my prices and terms of service! 

**d1ebymybl4de:** cool can i dm u my request too

**leonardodaBINCHI:** Sure! :D

**[d1ebymybl4de -> leonardodaBINCHI]: ** can you make only one image of demon fox (all nine-tails) sage mode naruto (while he's still in human form) and while using body flicker technique with eternal mangekyou sharingan Sasuke while he's using Raikage's Ultimate level of Lightning Aura (naruto chapter 463 page 08) and while using body flicker technique while both of them team up while naruto makes a rasenshuriken while it's expanded like the one shown in naruto manga chapter 432 with sasuke combining naruto's rasenshuriken with amaterasu's black flames and a lot of electricity from kirin around the black flames raseshuriken while sasuke uses susanoo and sets it's bones on fire with amaterasu (naruto 463 page 15) and tsukuyomi. can you do that pls

**[leonardodaBINCHI -> d1ebymybl4de]:** Er...I’m sorry Felix... but I think I’m going to have to decline your request ^-^; This is something out of my limit.

**[d1ebymybl4de -> leonardodaBINCHI]:** thats fine dont worry about it. thanks for hearing me out at least

  
  
**[d1ebymybl4de -> leonardodaBINCHI]:** can i request something else instead? a simple picture of me, sylvain, and claude stargazing together?

**[d1ebymybl4de -> leonardodaBINCHI]:** Oh! I can definitely do that!

**[d1ebymybl4de -> leonardodaBINCHI]:** great. ill send the first half of payment over after the party

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

🌚🌝 **Gayreg Mach’s Funky Fresh Garland Moon Gathering** 🌝🌚

**[5:00 PM]**

**sexy arrow:** heyyy we got the good eats!

**MozzarellaMan:** Welcome you guys!

**a shoe bert:** woah you all did a great job with the decorations! :0 

**its deduesday:** This flower banner looks gorgeous, it reminds me of the flower fields in Duscur :)

**ferdielicious:** we’ve got ignatz and bernadetta to thank for that!

**purple nurple:** Yes, without their artistic direction, this classroom would not have looked as beautiful as it does now!

**feelthebern:** aaa!!! tthanks! ; v ;

**leonardodaBINCHI:** Thx you guys! ^-^

**#1Jeraltfan: ** yooo! all this food looks sooo good! you guys can put them on those tables over there!

**hildahilda:** is that…? why do u guys have raphael’s head on a plate?

**beef broganoff:** wdym? im right here! 😂

**annette!!!:** its a giant chicken nugget!

**ingwid:** do u guys like it? claude, raphael, and i sculpted it ourselves!

**MozzarellaMan:** It’s certainly unique looking, that’s for sure.

**hubbert:** I would like to be the one to cut it open when we serve it.

**sexy arrow:** uhhhhh sure thing hubert!

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** We’ve also got wings, popcorn chicken, cookies, chocolate cake, and caramel cupcakes!

**microorganism:** Savory biscuits*, not cookies! 

**Edie:** Hello everyone, we’re here with the flowers!

**MozzarellaMan:** Greetings Edelgard! The flowers look lovely!

**sexy arrow:** heyyy you guys made it!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** OH YEAH. PARTY TIME.

**thotier:** sorry it took us so long! we had to go get a special outfit for linhardt 😂

**a shoe bert:** linhardt? why are you wearing a bee keeper suit?

**Edie:** That’s his outfit.

**findingdorythea** : dont worry about it ashe! turns out linhardts allergic to bees so we were making him wear that as a safeguard while we brought the flowers over!

**sleepy bitch disease:** yeah. its also so i dont get stung by my pet bee

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** since when did u get a pet bee? ive been with you the whole time wh

**sleepy bitch disease:** i brought him here with me look

**MozzarellaMan:** ...How did you manage to put a bee on a leash?

**sleepy bitch disease:** his name is ferdinand

**its deduesday:** Hello Ferdinand :)

**ferdielicious:** ????????? why?

**sleepy bitch disease:** dorothea named him for me :)

**findingdorythea:** it’s because you’re a bee, ferdie! 

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** he does kinda look like u ngl

**thotier:** ferdinand really said “🐝”

**sleepy bitch disease:** oops-- he got off of his leash...

**sleepy bitch disease:** safe travels ferdinand, may you come across beautiful flowers and make lots of honey on your journey

**ferdielicious:** thank you linhardt 

**princesspetra:** Did everyone bring other things to make garlands besides flowers? I brought some beads of my own to share!

**findingdorythea** : and i brought paper stars!

**hildahilda:** OMG those look so pretty!!! claude and i brought minecraft 😂

**ferdielicious:** you guys actually managed to bring minecraft to make into garlands? :0

**sexy arrow:** YEAH BOYYY check it out! 

**purple nurple:** Those are... little paper cubes colored to look like grass and dirt.

**hildahilda:** just like in minecraft!

**Edie:** These look adorable! Would you mind if I took a few to make for my own garlands?

**feelthebern:** .,id like one too please!! if thats ok!

**sexy arrow:** go ahead! we brought em for everyone!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** linny! can u help me out my flowers keep getting messed up! they always fall apart :(

**MozzarellaMan:** I’m having the same trouble as well…

**sleepy bitch disease:** i cant help a whole lot because im in a suit but try not to hold them too tightly

**sleepy bitch disease:** just try to relax your grip, dimitri

**its deduesday:** Ashe and I can show you both how to connect the stems.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** sweet thanks bros!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** linny, dude, im gonna need you to take off your hat thing cuz i dont think the garlands gonna fit over it 😩

**sleepy bitch disease:** thats fine, just put them on top like this. it’ll be a flower hat instead

**hildahilda:** [selfiewithsylvain.png]

**thotier:** haha wow we look so much like a couple in this pic ;)

**hildahilda:** yeah a couple of bestiesss ;)

**sexy arrow:** 😂

**d1ebymybl4de:** 😂

**thotier:** wowwww hilda smh im soooo not giving you a garland 😤

**hildahilda:** its cool! i dont want it anyways 😊

**hildahilda:** mariannnnne you’re here!! 😍😍😍💗💗💗💗💗💗 i made this one for you!

**hors:** oh! thank u hilda…! i made this one for you as well

**hildahilda:** omg this is so well done! pink and blue flowers… i love you so much mari! 🥺💖😚😚

**hors:** i love you too! 😊💝

**sexy arrow:** oh shit we’re giving garlands already? u guys work fast lol

**sexy arrow:** felix! sylvain and i just finished making a special garland for you!

**thotier:** so like, we couldnt put real knives or swords on your garland but we hope these baby plastic ones will be to ur liking fe!

**findingdorythea:** oh my goddess, you guys actually did it 😂

**princesspetra:** This is so endearing! In a really odd way. (: Here Dorothea, I have made a special garland for you as well! 

**findingdorythea:** 💘💘🥺 are these beads shaped like music notes? ill cherish these forever petra! i have a garland for you too! it has seashells on it 💖💖💖

**d1ebymybl4de:** sylvain...claude...did u guys get these knives from those kiddie tea sets?

**sexy arrow:** it was sylvains idea! 😊

**thotier:** do u like it? :D

**d1ebymybl4de:** ...its ok i guess. thanks

**sexy arrow:** he loves it!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** ALRIGHT NOT TO INTERRUPT OR ANYTHING BUT WHO MADE THIS PINK LEMONADE

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** I did!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** this SLAPS mercedes! what did u put in it to make it so poppin?

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** (: Oh you know! Just lemons, some strawberries and cranberries, a bit of honey...

**sexy arrow:** lol (:

**ingwid** : claude DO NOT SAY anything or i WILL end u

**thotier:** p

**ingwid:** 🔫 you too sylvain 

**findingdorythea:** its PUSSY babe!

**ingwid:** 😳

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** LMAOOOO

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** its fuckin tasty! and so’s all this food! like u guys really went all out on the chicken

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** even raphael’s chicken nugget head was bangin despite hubert looking sadistic while cutting it up

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** Thank you Caspar! 😊

**beef broganoff:** 😆😆😆 im flattered u think my head tastes good! thx dude! 

**sexy arrow:** we’ve got chef dedue to thank for all this! he was the one who made sure everyone’s dishes came out tasty!

**MozzarellaMan:** Thank you Chef Dedue!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** YEAH thanks dedue! 

**its deduesday:** You’re giving me too much credit, Claude...Everyone worked really hard to make all these dishes come out fantastic. But thank you :)

**leonardodaBINCHI:** Lysithea did you make this dish here? :0

**microorganism:** Yeah I made those! They’re, uh, savory biscuits.

**microorganism:** What do you think of them?

**leonardodaBINCHI:** Mmmm, they’re like, salty, but kind of cinnamon-y too? Weird, but not in a bad way! I think these would pair well with milk even if they’re not that sweet. Do we have any milk to go with these?

  
**annette!!!:** oh no i dont think so...the food team used the last of it to bake desserts and the only other jug has its expiration date today! dont wanna risk upsetting anyone’s stomachs serving it! 

**thotier:** wdym that means the milk is ready tho?

**hildahilda:** …

**ferdielicious:** …what?

**#1Jeraltfan:** hello?? sylvain?? are u ok???

**thotier:** yeah why wouldnt i be?

**Edie:** Sylvain. What do you think the date on the milk is supposed to be?

**thotier:** its the date that tells u when the milk is ready to be consumed

**ingwid:** HUH?

**thotier:** yeah! like dont u guys hate how they always sell the milk in stores BEFORE its ready and u gotta wait like a few weeks for it? why cant they just sell the milk the day on its date or a few days before that?

**d1ebymybl4de:** ……………...sylvain pls say sike right now 

**sexy arrow:** sylvain i love you, you’re my boyfriend and i would pour a bucket of cold water all over myself for you, but what the actual fuck lol

**thotier:** what??? im right

**MozzarellaMan:** No... no you’re not…

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** see? even dimitri is in shock abt this!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** D I M I T R I of all people!!!

**ingwid:** for once in your life sylvain please please PLEASE take the L

**its deduesday:** Sylvain, the date on the milk jug is when it expires.

**thotier:** milk expires?

**findingdorythea:** 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

**ingwid:** …???? PLEASE stop typing im begging you

**ferdielicious:** im...im at a loss for words right now

**hubbert:** The more you open your mouth the less I respect you, Gautier.

**purple nurple:** Same here. I’m beginning to question your level of intelligence.

**thotier:** its not news that im dumber than a pile of rocks but this is the one hill that i WILL die on... maybe.

**annette!!!:** says the guy who tutored me in advanced physics without ever taking a physics class?

**thotier:** shhhhh

**Edie:** Yes, milk spoils. Did you not know that?

**thotier:** i know that it does theoretically, but in gautier its so cold that nothing spoils at all

**thotier:** also i go thru a gallon within the day i buy it anyways

**a shoe bert:** that quickly? how do u drink a whole gallon like that? :0

**leonardodaBINCHI:** It’s no wonder you’re so tall!

**thotier:** “drink”?

**hors:** ...um….

**feelthebern:** hhHH???

**microorganism:** This conversation is getting worse and worse!

**princesspetra:** Do...do you not drink your milk Sylvain? 

**thotier:** all my milk 99% of the time ends up frozen solid in gautier and it takes way too long to thaw

**thotier:** regular unfrozen milk is a treat! we usually just end up with milk pops 😋😋😋

**ingwid:** WH

**findingdorythea:** MILK POPS????

**d1ebymybl4de:** hey so like, as sylvains childhood friends (and me being his bf) how did we never learn abt this horrifying fact?

**MozzarellaMan:** I suppose it never came up until now!

**thotier:** what? its good! dont knock it till u try it guys 

**sleepy bitch disease:** …what did i just come back to

**sleepy bitch disease:** oh are we teasing sylvain again? im down to clown

**sexy arrow:** sylvain drinks expired milk more at 11!

**hildahilda:** he eats* expired milk 😂😂😂😂

**sleepy bitch disease:** oh gross nvm 

**sleepy bitch disease:** guess we dont even need to do anything sylvains already gone and put on the clown wig all by himself 🤡

**thotier:** NO I DONT! I DONT EAT OR DRINK EXPIRED MILK

**annette!!!: ** no use trying to back out of it, sylvain, you’ve dug your own grave!

**thotier:** waaaiiit wait wait ok: assuming the “best by month/date/year” on the jug IS the expiration

**#1Jeraltfan:** which it is

**thotier:** do u guys just immediately throw out ur milk once u reach it? what if it’s inaccurate? what if the milks still good by then and a few days after?

**a shoe bert: ** it depends on how cold you store the milk, so i GUESS its valid for u to say that milk doesnt spoil for a very very long time in gautier

**Edie:** But you’re still incorrect for believing the date is something other than the expiration date.

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** milk is nasty when it spoils, man!

**d1ebymybl4de:** who fucking taught you the expiration date was something else, sylvain?

**sexy arrow:** i think thats just how it is in gautier 😂

**I’m a healer, but...🔫:** Haven’t you had milk at school? It’s not frozen at all :0

**thotier:** yeah i usually put ice in it but its just not the same 😔

**ingwid:** …

**sexy arrow:** ice?? in your milk?

**findingdorythea:** is the milk not cold enough for you??? you actually like it frozen???

**d1ebymybl4de:** i cant do this anymore im at my limit

**Edie:** I’m...utterly appalled. 

**thotier:** don’t u mean...UDDERly appalled? 😋

**sexy arrow:** LOL

**Edie:** :/

**d1ebymybl4de:** no.

**MozzarellaMan:** :l

**thotier:** ……….ok well ANYWAYS WOW I LOVE THIS SONG! ANTHEM RIGHT HERE! 😩👌

**hildahilda:** wow smooth topic change 😂 

**[sexy arrow -> thotier]:** was any of this milk stuff true sylvie? 😂

**[thotier -> sexy arrow]:** 😉

**a shoe bert:** i thought your anthem was yeah by usher?

**thotier:** i can have multiple anthems, ashe

**ferdielicious:** i love this song too!

**ferdielicious:** party rockers in the house tonight! 

**hubbert:** It’s “party rock is”.

**ferdielicious:** …

**hubbert:** …

**findingdorythea:** 👀

**sleepy bitch disease:** 👀

**Edie:** 👀

**sexy arrow:** 👀

**hildahilda:** omfg are those two making out in the corner ghdfghkf

**d1ebymybl4de:** get a room you two -_-

**hubbert:** We weren’t doing anything.

**thotier:** sure you werent 😉

**ferdielicious:** …

**ferdielicious:** ah would you look at that! the professor’s arrived!

**MozzarellaMan:** They’re here already? Wonderful!

**Edie:** Oh! It looks like they’ve brought someone with them as well!

**findingdorythea:** omg is that the gatekeeper?

**annette!!!:** ahhhh! they made garlands for each other! how cute!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** so thats the professor’s special guest, huh? who woulda thought

**ferdielicious:** i can see it! they’re both so sweet, it makes sense that theyd be together

**hildahilda:** ghfkg the professor has so many garlands stacked on their neck how can they see where they’re going?

**purple nurple:** The woes of being a beloved instructor, I suppose.

**sexy arrow:** and they’re about to get another 24 more! 

**sexy arrow:** c’mon everyone, lets shower them with all our love!

**findingdorythea:** keep stacking! lets see how tall this garland tower can go before it falls!

**annette!!!:** can someone give me a lift so i can put mine on the professor? 

**beef broganoff:** i can help with that!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** hey guys...wanna know how much i appreciate you all? 

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** [professorsflowertower.png] thiiiiis much!

**a shoe bert:** awww that so sweet of you to say caspar! but u know what? we dont need to wait till garland moon or other holidays to do this

**a shoe bert:** we should be showing our appreciation for each other everyday!

**I AM THE FUCKING STRONG:** you’re absolutely right!

**MozzarellaMan:** Oh Goddess, all those garlands look quite heavy on the professor’s shoulders. I don’t think they can stand anymore.

**sexy arrow:** they’re doing a real good job balancing all those garlands though! im impressed!

**Edie:** Poor professor… we should probably go help before the flowers consume them 😅

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

🖤💙💛 **House Leaders (and the Professor!) Groupchat** 💛💙🖤

**Claude:** another successful party if i do say so myself! 😎

**Dimitri:** Yes! It ended up being much more fun than expected.

**Edelgard:** The party really helped bring all three houses even closer together :) I’m glad we were able to do this.

**Claude:** us too! this was such a great idea. we should do this more often!

**Edelgard:** We should! In the meantime, there’s another event the houses could attend to bond over.

**Claude:** if you’re talking abt the ashen wolves’ underground rave then im down! im planning to go with hilda

**Edelgard:** Yes! I was going to invite you two.

**Dimitri:** ? I’ve never been to a rave before.

**Claude:** oh man oh man you gotta come with us dimitri! it’ll be fun!

**Edelgard:** That is, if you can stay up past your bedtime.

**Dimitri:** I’ll have you know that I stay up quite late due to my inability to fall asleep, thank you very much!

**Edelgard:** But you still get ready for bed by 9 PM anyways… 🙄

**Dimitri:** No I don’t!

**Claude:** LOL and what time do you sleep edelgard? 9:30? 

**Edelgard:** ...That’s none of your business.

**> Professor Byleth is online. <**

**Professor Byleth:** Hello you three, thanks again for inviting me to your party and for the garlands.

**Professor Byleth:** I have no idea what I’m going to do with all of these, but I’ll cherish each and every one of them.

**Dimitri:** Of course! You’re our beloved professor after all! It wouldn’t be a party without you.

**Edelgard:** And you brought the gatekeeper as your special person! We didn’t know you were together!

**Professor Byleth:** Yes, we’ve been going steady for some time now.

**Claude:** you two were the cutest couple at the party, teach! 

**Professor Byleth:** Thank you 💛💙🖤

**Claude:** 💛💙🖤 sooo since everyone had a huge blast this garland moon...

**Claude:** do we have permission to host more of these get togethers in the future? pretty please, teach? 🥺

**Professor Byleth:** Since you’ve all been well behaved...As long as you let me know beforehand, I’ll say yes for now.

**Professor Byleth:** (Until one of you make me change my mind.)

**Dimitri:** We promise that we’ll be well behaved and exemplary students, professor!

**Edelgard:** Yes! Speaking of which… Professor, would you mind doing me a favor and drop off this bouquet for Lady Rhea? I’m afraid I’ll be too busy with house leader duties this weekend to stop by her office and deliver it myself.

**Edelgard:** The bouquet is a Garland Moon gift to her from all of us Black Eagles to show our appreciation for her as the head of the school. 

**Claude:** 👀

**Dimitri:** 👀

**Professor Byleth:** I’ll deliver it to her promptly.

**Edelgard:** Thank you professor! Pay no mind to any loud and angry buzzing you hear from the flowers. :)

**Professor Byleth:** Of course. I’ll see you all in class next week.

**> Professor Byleth is offline. <**

**Dimitri:** Did you put bees in the bouquet, Edelgard?

  
  
**Edelgard:** Perhaps. :)

  
  
**Claude:** LMAO and you guys call  _ me _ the schemer 😂

**Claude:** now, about that rave...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided I wanted to combine everything into one chapter because 10/10 is a very appealing number to me, and what better way to have the last chapter than to make it significantly longer as a treat? 
> 
> This was really fun to write! Thank you for reading! 😊


End file.
